Invasion of the Female Barber Snatchers!

Well, a great and wondrous day to you! Yessir-e-e! Thanks for clicking by to hear my rantings. May as well fill your mug and slide a virtual treat onto your plate at the same time...On second thought, fill your mug first – then do the slide trick. A question for you...do you have a personal quest? Say what? Well I do at the moment. Oh it’s not the Holy Grail, its...

... a search for a decent barber in Cornwall. My quest to find ‘Joe’s Barber shop’ is an epic voyage of frustration and melancholy...at least here in Cornwall. Now don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against female barbers....good ones, that is. Trouble is, I have been snipped by so many bad ones that I have to say I prefer a male barber. 

Seven or eight years ago, I made the error of going to the Barber Shop and Hairstylist in Eastcourt Mall – close to our current home. What a disaster! The barberette was more interested in chatting with her fellow (?) barberettes than in paying attention to my head. When I left, I swore I would never go back there again. I would rather cut my hair with a pair of garden shears! 

There used to be a good barber shop here called Luc’s Barber Shop. When we returned to Cornwall earlier this year after a six-year absence, I was looking forward to getting my hair cut again by either Luc or Terry. Unfortunately, when I entered the shop, I was dismayed to see that it was peopled by two female barberettes. But, I had parked and paid my loonie in the meter outside so my Scottish ancestry said I should brave it and suffer through the ordeal.  There was an older lady and a young girl. The older lady freed up first so I became her next victim...I mean customer.  I asked about Luc and Terry. Luc had retired and Terry had passed away from cancer. Her haircut was not even close to what I had come to expect from either Luc or Terry... or any other decent barber.

The second time I went, the young girl was free. Aside from spending the whole time talking, she left my head full of loose hair, no razor on the back of the neck...unacceptable.

Sadly, the dearth of barbers here is evident...so, against my better judgement, I chose to go back a third time. I left it a couple months though before I got up the courage to do so. This time, there was a third barberette...a middle aged woman whom one might describe as ‘full figure’. In other words...lay off the poutine! It was my fate to fall into the clutches of her chair. I was waiting for the manacles to grip my hands and keep me there.

Her first comment was , “You haven’t had your haircut in a while, have you?” Gee! Wonder where she came up with that astounding remark. Could it have been the length of my hair? After trying to engage me in all sorts of topics, she finally got the idea that I was there to get my haircut and not for a social experience and discussion of weather, crops, golf, hockey, you name it.

She proceeded to attack my hair with her comb and razor and cut one side noticeably higher than the other. When I remarked on this, she took offense and said it looked fine to her. So I showed her and she straightened it out. Again, no razor on the neck and no combing out of the loose hair. Standards! Standards! 

Yesterday, I (again) went to the Yellow Pages and saw another listing. Mid morning, after looking up the address on the Net, I hopped in the car and went in search of the advertised premises. It was a house in a residential district. Huh? Since when does a barbershop operate from a house. I know Hair Salons do but...enough said. There was nothing outside to show it was anything other than a house so I chose to forget about it.

Ah well...I may have to look down the highway a bit more. Now where did I put those garden shears?

See ya, eh!

Bob

PS: First Choice Haircutters has just opened up close to us but I have this preconceived view of a shop full of recycled barberettes brandishing their scissors and yakking away to each other. I shudder to even think about trying it...a simple haircut...my kingdom for a haircut!