Thursday, February 28, 2013

Crazy Kids!

Hi ya! How're you faring today? Help yourself to a freshly brewed mug of coffee..and a virtual muffin. Are you into Martial Arts? Nah, me neither.  A long time ago, I had thoughts of trying some Karate but then I went and took a nap until the feeling passed.

In the USA alone, an estimated 3.2 million kids aged 5 to 12 take mixed-martial arts classes, training to administer beatdowns modeled after the adults' Ultimate Fighting Championships, according to a January report in ESPN magazine, which profiled the swaggering, Mohawked Derek "Crazy" Rayfield, 11, and the meek, doll-clutching fighting machine, Regina "The Black Widow" Awana, 7. Kids under age 12 fight each other without regard to gender, and blows above the collarbone are always prohibited (along with attacks on the groin, kidneys and back). "Crazy" was described delivering merciless forearm chest smashes to a foe before the referee intervened, and the Black Widow won her match in less than a minute via arm-bar submission.

Parental involvement appears to be of two types: either fear of their child's getting hurt or encouragement to be meaner.

Crazy kids or crazy parents? Rip 'is arm off, honey, and beat 'im over the 'ead with the bloody end!!!

See ya, eh!

Bob


PS: Oh, yeah...we made it safely back to Canada. What a pleasure to be back in our own bed, eh!

Monday, February 25, 2013

What am I under arrest for, again, officer??

Hey! Hey! Great to see you, Thanks for clicking by, eh. The coffee's freshly brewed and Madge's just brought a new tray of virtual treats from the oven. Can you smell them? Why the aroma is almost illegal, eh? Speaking of which, I was reading the other day about some of the silly laws that are, apparently, still on the books in various US states. If you're planning on touring the US of A, you should be aware of these. You never know, eh!

Alabama
It’s illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.

Alaska
Whispering in someone’s ear while he’s moose hunting is prohibited.

Arizona
Cutting down a cactus may earn you a 25-year prison term.

Arkansas
It’s illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas.

California

You may not eat an orange in your bathtub.

Colorado
It’s unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor (Denver).

Connecticut
A pickle cannot actually be a pickle unless it bounces.

Delaware
It’s illegal to get married on a dare.

Washington, D.C.
It’s against the law to post a public notice calling someone a coward for refusing to accept a challenge to duel.

Florida
If you tie an elephant to a parking meter, you must pay the same parking fee as you would for a vehicle.

Georgia
It’s illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless you draw the shades first.

Hawaii
All residents may be fined for not owning a boat.

Idaho
A man must not give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing fewer than 50 pounds.

Illinois
It’s illegal to take a French poodle to the opera (Chicago).

Indiana
The value of pi is 4, and not 3.1415.

Kansas
It’s illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits (Natoma).

Kentucky

Every citizen is required to take a shower once a year.

Louisiana
Biting someone with your natural teeth constitutes simple assault, but biting someone with your false teeth classifies as aggravated assault.

Maine
If you keep your Christmas decorations on display after January 14, you’ll be fined.

Maryland
It’s against the law to wash or scrub a sink, no matter how dirty it is (Baltimore).

Massachusetts
No gorilla is allowed in the backseat of any car.

Michigan
A woman may not cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.

Minnesota

It’s illegal to paint a sparrow with the intent of selling it as a parakeet (Harper Woods).

Mississippi
Walking a dog without dressing it in diapers is forbidden (Temperance).

Missouri

Children may buy shotguns in Kansas City, but not toy cap guns.

Montana
It’s a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.

Nebraska
Bar owners may not sell beer unless they brew a kettle of soup simultaneously.

Nevada
It’s illegal for men with mustaches to kiss women.

New Hampshire
It’s forbidden to sell the clothes you’re wearing to pay off a gambling debt.

New Jersey
It’s against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

New Mexico
Females may not appear unshaven in public.

New York
While riding in an elevator, you must talk to no one, fold your hands, and look toward the door.

North Carolina
It’s against the law to sing off-key.

North Dakota
It’s illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

Ohio
You must honk the horn whenever you pass another car, according to the state’s driver’s education manual.

Oklahoma
It’s forbidden to take a bite out of another person’s hamburger.

Oregon
State law requires dishes to be drip-dried.

Pennsylvania

It’s illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.

Rhode Island
You may not bite off another person’s leg.

South Carolina
If a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, he is required by law to keep his promise.

South Dakota

It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

Tennessee
Selling hollow logs is strictly forbidden.

Texas
You may not shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

Utah
It is illegal not to drink milk.

Vermont
Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

Virginia
Tickling a woman is unlawful.

Washington
It’s illegal to pretend that one’s parents are wealthy.

West Virginia
If you make fun of someone who does not accept a challenge, you risk a six-month prison sentence.

Wisconsin
Unless a customer specifically requests it, margarine may not be substituted for butter in a restaurant.

Wyoming
Unless you have an official permit, you may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April.

Hey...how'm I going to work on my suntan in the winter if I can't lie atop a fridge outside, eh?


If I decide to bring an elephant back from Thailand next time, and if I happen to be routing through Florida and I need to tie up my elephant at a parking meter, I’ll be sure to bring a pocket full of quarters.

See ya, eh!


Bob

Neuticles: Fake Testicles for Your Pet

Hi Ya! Wassup? Everything okay at your end? I'm not being personal but we'll talk more about ends in a minute...once you've filled your mug with dark nectar and snaggled a virtual treat to nibble on. Now, where was I? Ah...we were talking about ends so here we go...

This takes the virtual cake for being weird, as well as a bizarre use of up to $800 — testicular implants for animals that have been neutered. The price depends on whether you buy small, medium or large. Inventor, Gregg Miller, calls them Neuticles, which admittedly is a great name, but still does not seem to warrant the 500,000 pairs of them that have been sold and implanted.

Mr. Miller says the idea is to “let people restore their pets’ anatomical preciseness.”  This helps, he says, with self-esteem. I am not sure if he means the self-esteem of the owner or the pet.  But he continues, by adding, “Neutering is creepy. But with Nueticles, it’s like nothing has changed.”  Well, except for the very weird fact that an animal now has a fake body part!

For the record, cats and dogs are the top recipients of Neuticals, but they have also been implanted in a monkey and a groundhog.

So, who orders these fake testicles? Well, Americans from every state and people from over 49 countries. One of the latest purchasers is, surprise, surprise, Kim Kardashian.

Before, we laugh this silly idea right out of the Care2 community (from whence I liberated the story, eh), it did dawn on me, that maybe, just maybe, people who hesitate – or even refuse – to neuter their male pets due to the perceived indignity of having their manhood removed (again, not sure if this applies to the pet or owner more), may agree to neuter, if cosmetically their pet will still look fully intact. What do you think?


See ya, eh!

Bob

Sunday, February 24, 2013

What Year is this Again?

G'day there! How's it going where you are, eh? I hope all is well, the sun is shining and things are progressing as though it was 2013...which, in most places, it is...well except here in Thailand where it is 2556 (Buddha was born 543 years before JC). Help yourself to a nice, refreshing mug of Arabica and a virtual treat while I tell you a little about this modern world in which we find ourselves.

This week there was a report out of Papua New Guinea about a woman who was burned as a witch. Yup...it still happening.
Papua New Guinea police have charged two people with the grisly killing of a woman who was tortured and burned alive in front of hundreds of people, including young children, after being accused of witchcraft.

Janet Ware and Andrew Watea were charged with murder over the slaying of Kepari Leniata, a 20-year-old mother who was stripped, tortured with a hot iron rod, doused in gasoline and set alight on a pile of car tires and trash by a mob earlier this month.

Leniata had been accused of sorcery by relatives of a 6-year-old boy who had died in a hospital. Ware and Watea are believed to be the boy's mother and uncle, police said in a statement.

In Papua New Guinea, the Pacific nation just a short boat ride from Australia’s far north, 80 per cent of the 7 million-plus population live in rural and remote communities. Many have little access to even basic health and education, surviving on what they eat or earn from their gardens. There are few roads out, but a burgeoning network of digital-phone towers and dirt-cheap handsets now connect them to the world — assuming they can plug into power and scrounge a few kina-worth of credit.

And, read this report out of India:

In a January submission to India's Supreme Court, an association of the country's caste councils begged for greater sympathy for men who commit "honour killings" of wayward females. The councils denied encouraging such killings, but emphasized that fathers or brothers who murder a daughter or sister are usually "law-abiding, educated and respectable people" who must protect their reputations after a female has had a "forbidden" relationship -- especially a female who intends to marry within her sub-caste, which the councils believe leads to deformed babies. [Daily Telegraph (London), 1-15-2013]

Kind of makes you wonder what progress the world has made over the past several thousand years...if any, eh?

See ya, eh!

Bob


Comment from Brian in Pattaya:

OK Now here's the thing.
Golden Bab was all black lettering on a brown background so I thought I would simply send the page back to you so you could see for yourself.
Lo and behold, as the Art Mistress said to the Bishop, "surely thiiis maaan he waaas the soooon of Gaaaaad", this must be magic.
 
On the e-mail, the brown background mysreriously changed to a white background. So I think 'Hey. This is OK now" So I go back to read the blog and 'beejasus' its changed back to brown again.
 
How are you doing this and what have I ever done to you to deserve this!!!
 
It's those pludy Kremlins agen.
 
B.
 
Bob's plucky reply:
 
What is causing my problem reading Bob's magnificent daily blog?
a) Bad karma
b) A Google screw-up
c) Kremlins because Pattaya is overrun with Russians
d) All of the above. (Correct) 
As soon as I return to Canadian reality (Wednesday) I shall take the problem under advisement and review, Brian!)  

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Meet Golden Baba!

Hi ya! How're you doing? Thanks for taking time to stop by for a coffee and a virtual treat. The coffee's always fresh and the treats are just that...a treat to eat...virtually. Hey...I want you to meet Golden Baba. 

His real name is Bittu Bhagat, but his fascination with gold earned him the nickname “Golden Baba”. Claiming to be a living saint, this Indian holy man tells his followers to live in poverty, while he covers himself in gold clothes and accessories worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Golden Baba has apparently been in the sights of Indian tax officials for some time, but he also attracted the attention of the press when he made an appearance at the sacred Kumbh Mela pilgrimage with two young European beauties hanging on his arms and wearing dozens of solid gold accessories around his neck and on his hands. 

He looked more like a middle-aged playboy than a holy man preaching about the rewards of a simple life free of worldly possessions. But reports claim Bittu Bhagat tells his disciples they must shun their material wealth, even their clothes, if they want to follow him, and investigators say he only accepts donations in solid gold. 

Formerly a simple tailor, this Golden Baba now allegedly has a fortune of several millions of dollars and travels around in a fleet of chauffeur-driven Mercedes, Bentleys and BMWs.

Well now, I'm a simple Taylor, too, so if you're going to take Golden Baba's advice and shun your material wealth...chauffeur-driven Mercedes, Bentleys and BMWs, for example, have your chauffer park them in my drive and leave the registration and bill of donation (as opposed to bill of sale) in the glove compartment. I'll look after them for you, okay?

See ya, eh!

Bob 

Comment from Brian in Pattaya:


Hi Bob
Hope you're well and not drinking too much of that ersatz coffee stuff you seem to have shares in.
Your blogs are v. interesting and I intend to keep reading them for a while yet.
There is however one slight problem -
I cannot read the black lettering against the strong coffee brown page background, that is unless I get to within six inches of the screen, use a colour filter, a strong beam of light and a large magnifying glass. I may be the only person to whom this matters but I don't think so.
Any chance of you doing something about this or should I get an eyeball transplant!!!?
Best Wishes
Brian
Bob's reply:
Hi Brian,

The coffee background should only be there when you first open the blog. After that it should disappear and become a white background. Try clicking in the whitespace and see if that does it. I know it does it for me. Let me know if that works.

If anyone else is having the same problem and my 'fix' doesn't work, let me know and I'll change it.

Bob
 

Friday, February 22, 2013

Frogspawn!

Hi ya! Remember, a couple days back, I was on about some weird green slime that some folks were claiming came from outer space? Soon as you fill your coffee mug and grab hold of a mega muffin, I'll fill you in on what it really was. Great to see you, by the way!

The green slime that was thought to resemble a mysterious mythical jelly that appeared after meteor showers has been identified as coming from frogs.

Nature experts were left baffled by the appearance of the substance on a nature reserve in Somerset, which they were originally unable to recognise.

RSPB officials, who run the site at Ham Wall near Glastonbury, had thought it may be star or astral jelly, an unexplained 'goo' traditionally said to appear after meteors fall to earth.

Its appearance was significant after a meteorite crash landed in Russia at the weekend, shattering thousands of windows, and an asteroid had narrowly missed earth.

Now a vet has identified the jelly as a substance produced inside female frogs, which they use to lay their eggs by combining it to create frogspawn.

Devon vet Peter Green contacted the charity with a logical explanation for the slime.

RSPB reserve warden Tony Whitehead explained: "At this time of year amphibians are spawning.

"The spawn is held in a substance known as glycoprotein which is stored in the female's body.

"If the animal is attacked by a predator - herons for instance are fond of the occasional frog - it will quite naturally drop its spawn and the associated glycoprotein.

"This is designed to swell on contact with water, which gives the gelatinous mass we are all familiar with in frog spawn.

"However, if it's unfertilised, it is just the empty glycoprotein that is dropped - which on contact with moist ground will swell and give a clear slime-like substance."

The blobs of slime had been deposited at several locations at the Ham Wall Reserve, always close to pools of water.

So there you have it. Mystery solved! All you need is an expert who knows what s/he's talking about as opposed to one who doesn't...and Lord knows we have a goodly share of the latter, eh.

So next time someone annoys you or you step in something untoward, just holler, "FROGSPAWN!" and keep on going.

See ya, eh!

Bob

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Pattaya's Volks Bars

Well, hey there! Thanks for clicking by today. As always, it's a pleasure to see you. Help yourself to a mugga and a virtual treat, why don't'cha, eh? Go ahead. Be a devil! Say...as you know, Nong and I are in Pattaya (less than a week left) and we're staying on Soi Bua Khao downtown which is an area we haven't really visited that often for a long time and one that has gone absolutely crazy. So while many things are the same as they have always been, some things are new. One of them is the Volks Bars.

What are Volks Bars? Glad you asked. All around the downtown core, in vacant lots, or off to the side of a plaza, or anywhere you can park a van with space for a few chairs, you run into these Volkswagen buses which have been converted into mobile bars. During the day, there will be a tarp pulled over them but as the sun dips and evening approaches, these Volks Bars spring to life.

Plastic tables and chairs get put out. The tarp comes off. The top pops up. A section of the side pulls down to form a bar counter. Lo and behold, a full bar awaits behind the lowered counter. Bar stools appear as if by magic. Lights strung merrily across the top and sides of the colourfully-painted vans add to the festive appearance.

As the noise of the evening and surrounding bars heats up, so do the speakers surrounding the Volks Bar. Music completes the atmosphere and all that is needed now is..customers. These folks don't mind sitting on plastic chairs in the middle of a sandy vacant lot. What the heck! Most of them are here for the fun and that's Pattaya...fun city!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Jewel Wasp Turns Cockroaches into Zombies

Hello there! Welcome back to my strange world. Coffeepot's waiting for you along with a tray of virtual treats hot out of the oven so dig in. Say...If you’re a Harry Potter fan, I don’t need to tell you what the Imperius curse is. 

But in case you're not, it’s a spell used to control people’s minds. Now, if you thought something like this was possible only in J.K. Rowling’s world, well here’s some news for you. Nature’s obviously one step ahead. The Jewel Wasp or ‘Emerald Cockroach Wasp’ is actually able to control the mind of its prey, the cockroach, by injecting venom directly into its brain.

The secret to the Jewel Wasp’s ‘captivating’ abilities lies in a neurotransmitter called octopamine in the cockroach’s brain that controls its movements. The wasp’s venom blocks the octopamine, literally converting the cockroach into a zombie. This ‘zombie’ cockroach is completely unable to fight back as it is pulled by the wasp into its underground lair. 

Why would the wasp would go through all this trouble to just eat a cockroach? Here’s the really weird part – the cockroach is meant to unwillingly play the part of surrogate mother. The wasp lays an egg into the cockroach’s abdomen, and the larva later hatches and eats the live cockroach from inside out. It takes 3 or 4 days for the larva to hatch, after which it slowly feeds on the roach’s internal organs, keeping it alive the whole time. Have another virtual muffin, eh!

This process takes about 7-8 days, during which the meat needs to be fresh for the larva. And because a dead cockroach rots within a day, the wasp prefers the ‘stun’ method. Once the roach is digested completely, it dies and the larva forms a cocoon inside it. A fully-grown wasp emerges from the cockroach carcass a month later.

Thus endeth your science lesson for today.  Ain't nature wonderful? With the myriad of creatures and alternate life forms on Earth, it sometimes leads me to wonder if we're not a research station for the universe. What do you think? Heavy!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Green 'Space' Slime

G'day to you! Thanks for clicking by. Glad to see you. What's happening? Any slimy news for me? I have some for you but first things first, eh! Pour yourself a deliciously refreshing mug of coffee and have a jelly doughnut with it, why don't'cha? Speaking of jelly...an unexplained jelly-like substance which is said to occur during meteor showers has been found on a wildlife park in Somerset, England.

THis "weird" green slime said in folklore to appear at the same time as meteors hit Earth has been found in a birdlife park in Somerset. The RSPB has appealed for help in identifying the slime, which is said to be scattered on grass banks close to pools and lakes around Ham Wall Nature Reserve near Glastonbury.

The jelly-like substance could be bacteria, fungus or toad innards, wildlife experts said. Toad innards? Must have been heck of a big toad!

Some believe it could be a substance that has been written about for centuries called star or astral jelly, which is said to appear in the wake of meteor showers.
Its appearance has coincided with a meteor strike in Russia and the harmless fly-by of an asteroid at a record distance from Earth last week.

Steve Hughes, the RSPB site manager at Ham Wall, said: "This past week we've been finding piles of this translucent jelly dotted around the reserve.

"(It is) always on grass banks away from the water's edge. They are usually about 10cm (4in) in diameter.

"We've asked experts what it might be, but as yet no one is really sure. Whatever it is, it's very weird." Definitely not toad innards!

Tony Whitehead, an RSPB spokesman for the South West, added: "Although we don't know what it actually is, similar substances have been described previously.
"In records dating back to the 14th Century it's known variously as star jelly, astral jelly or astromyxin.

"In folklore it is said to be deposited in the wake of meteor showers."

One of the more favoured explanations is that it is a form of cyanobacteria called Nostoc.

Others suggest that it is the remains of the regurgitated innards of amphibians such as frogs and toads, and of their spawn. Could be an alien species of huge interstellar toads, I suppose, eh?

Alternatively, it may be related to the intriguingly named crystal brain fungus.
Mr Whitehead added: "We've read a few articles now, and much speculation.
"One suggested it was neither animal nor plant, and another that it didn't contain DNA, although it does give the appearance of something 'living'.

"Our reserve team will be looking out for the slime over the next few days, but if anyone can offer any explanations we'd be glad to hear."

The public are being warned not to touch the mystery substance, and to inform nature reserve staff if they spot any.

Reminds me of the time a fellow went to the doctor with a mysterious disease. The doctor had never seen it before and had no idea what it was. He asked the patient, "Have you had this before?" 

"Yes, I have." answered the patient. 

"Well, you've got it again!" responded the doctor.

If you have any theories about what the green slime is, you are invited to share your knowledge.

See ya, eh!

Bob

 

Monday, February 18, 2013

Tried the new 'Sex Cereal'?

Hey there! As always, it's wonderful to see you! Fill your mug and grab a healthy virtual low fat muffin.  Say, do you remember Phil Foster? I think he was the comedian who said that his favourite breakfast was "A roll in bed with honey!" Well now, there's a new way to start your day...Sex Cereal!

A couple years ago, Peter Ehrlich, a columnist for the Toronto Star, happened upon a Vegan Food fair and saw some packaging which gave him an idea for a new product that would combine a popular niche with a timeless quest: healthy organic granola and increased sexual potency.

He came up with a nutrient-enhanced 'Sex Cereal' and introduced the new product at the annual Canadian Health Food Association trade show in Vancouver last May.
In fact, there are two products: Sex Cereal for Men and Sex Cereal for Women. The ingredients differ slightly and, though it is still early in the product life cycle, it is looking promising. The cereal is already available in about 500 stores across Canada with major food chain Sobey's doing some product testing to gauge the reaction of its customers. 
If you watched the Valentine’s Day edition of CBC’s Dragon’s Den, you would have seen Boston Pizza owner Jim Treliving offer Peter Ehrlich $100,000 for a 50/50 stake. Within hours of the airing of the show, Ehrlich had taken phone calls from three other prospective investors and one from a potential distributor in the Caribbean.
The packaging depicts the old 'Adam and the snake' and Eve and the apple' approach. Some retailers fear it may be a little too provocative for Canadian consumers (at least on grocery store shelves, eh) while others think it is fine - just promoting its claimed ability to enhance sexual performance.

Contents include 12 ingredients, including goji berries and pumpkin seeds, (testosterone boosters), and Omega 3 rich chia seeds to increase circulation of the blood.
Other ingredients include iron, fiber and protein, though according to nutritionist Jane Durst-Pulkys, maca is the ingredient that might put lead in your pencil (so to speak). Maca is a potent, ancient Peruvian superfood highly prized by Incan warriors to increase stamina, boost libido, and combat fatigue. The maca root was prized throughout the Incan empire for its adaptogenic-like qualities that enable it to nourish and balance the body's delicate endocrine system, and to help cope with stress. It also energizes naturally, without the jitters and crashes of caffeine, and it can aid in reproductive function, helping to balance hormones and increase fertility. Navitas Naturals Maca Powder is the raw and natural form of this special root.

Aha...you can see why that would be one of the important ingredients, can't'cha? Look for it on the shelf of your local grocery or health food store. (I'm not saying you need it, mind...)

See ya, eh!

Bob

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Dog Kissing Contest

Hi ya! How're you doing today? Going to the dogs? Hope not...but that's the topic for the day so fill your mug, grab a virtual muffin and listen up while I tell you about a, yecch, dog-kissing contest. Y'know, some people say a dog’s mouth is cleaner than a human’s but is that any reason to actually kiss your canine, even if it’s on Valentine’s Day? The answer is “YES”, at least according to participants at a dog kissing contest in Portland, Maine. In fact, it is not true! A dog's mouth is definitely NOT the cleanest place in the world. Far from it. Remember, just before it licks you, it's probably been licking it's own butt, privates, and possibly sniffing other mutts' rear ends!

Anyway... the 9th Annual Valentine’s Day Dog Kissing Contest took place on Valentine's Day, at the Planet Dog Company Store in Portland, and yes, there was a lot of face licking going on. The rules of the adorable/disgusting competition are pretty simple. Owners let their canine pets lick their faces – yes, that includes their lips – and the longest cross-species kiss is declared the winner. The big prize for first place? A $75 gift certificate to the Planet Dog store. 

So it’s safe to say people who enter the dog kissing contest don’t do it for the money, considering everyone actually has to pay a $5 entrance fee. It’s probably just a great opportunity to show off their dog’s affection or maybe it’s to be part of a charity event (all the proceeds go to the Planet Dog Foundation). 

I've seen some people really get into it but I'm afraid it's not for me, thank you very much. Sooner wrap my lips around a good mug of coffee! (Not that that's my first choice, mind!)

See ya, eh!

Bob

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Burapha Big Bike Festival

Howdy! Glad you could motor by today. Hope your engine's burbling right along, wind's at your back and the sun is shining where you are. Pour some dark Arabica nectar into your mug and snag yourself a virtual pastry or two. Say...yesterday we went to the Burapha Big Bike Festival. This is an annual Thai event and it happened to be in Pattaya this time around.

It is a three-day party, exhibit of big motorbikes and party. There were biker clubs from all over the world in attendance including Germany/Austria, Russia, Malaysia, USA, Philippines, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, UK and a lot more.

Thailand and especially Pattaya is a fantastic place for riding motorbikes because of its eternal summer. That accounts for the huge number of resident biker clubs here: Jesters, Mad Dogs, Hells Angels, Banditos, Mi Pen Ri (Thai for 'who cares'), Dinosaurs MC, Nomads, Asian Nomads, Northern Riders, and...whoa... my memory just burped, eh! 

There were thousands of bikes there...I'd wager at least 5000...probably more. Choppers galore!  When I stood back and looked at the gathering...I thought it looked like an encampment of Attila the Hun and friends...maybe Genghis Khan. There were hundreds of tents selling biker t-shirts, accessories, bikes, and each club had one or more tents. 

There was also a contingent of Thai cowboys and Indians. I have no idea why there were there other than that it added to the fun. Naturally the beer was flowing and bottles of Jack Daniels were everywhere! A big thanks go to "Noodle" - a long time friend who took us there!

I have always been interested in big bikes though as yet haven't owned anything bigger than an 'Iso' 150 scooter way back in my distant past. It was a great day and a chance to say hello to some of the Jesters we have known here for at least 20 years.

See ya, eh

Bob

Friday, February 15, 2013

The Redneck Chronicles

How's it going, eh? In need of coffee and a virtual treat? Well, now, you've come to the right place. Can't get you a beer but lots of coffee, eh! Speaking of beer, thought I'd update you with what's happening in Redneck Country. We've noticed a spate of new redneck TV shows...Duck Academy, My Big Redneck Vacation, Bayou Billionaire, et al so sit back, pour yourself a brewski and listen to the latest, okay?

(1) Timothy Crabtree, 45, of Rogersville, was arrested in October and charged with stabbing his son, Brandon, 21, in an argument over who would get the last beer in the house.

(2) Tricia Moody, 26, was charged with DUI in Knoxville in January after a 10-minute police chase. The officer's report noted that Moody was still holding a cup of beer and apparently had not spilled any during the chase.

(3) Jerry Poe, 62, was charged in a road-rage incident in Clinton on Black Friday after firing his handgun at a driver in front of him "to scare her into moving" faster, he said. (Poe said he had started at midnight at one Wal-Mart, waited in line unsuccessfully for five hours for a sale-priced stereo, and was on his way to another Wal-Mart.

Not a drop of beer was spilled in the pursuit of whatever it was they were pursuing or fleeing from. Now that's talent!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Thursday, February 14, 2013

What Lives in Your Belly Button?

Well there you are! Welcome. I've been waiting for you to get here. We have a tremendously exciting topic for discussion today (don't we always?). Let's not waste any time. Fill your coffee mug and tuck into one of those ooey gooey doughnuts. No calories with virtual treats remember! So...have you been contemplating your navel lately? Belly buttons, it turns out, are a lot like rain forests.

The whole thing started about two years ago. An undergrad's only-in-a-biology-lab idea—sampling colleague's navel bacteria for a holiday card—struck a chord with the North Carolina State University team, which had adopted a new focus on citizen science.

What better way to get the public interested in science than by showing them their skin's own thriving ecosystems? "And belly buttons are just ridiculous enough to appeal to almost everyone," Dunn added. (Not to mention my discriminating readers, eh!)

What's more, given the belly button's status as one of the body's most rarely scrubbed crannies, it offered researchers a chance to study as close to a pristine microbial landscape as is possible on the modern human.

So in early 2011 the team set up shop at the ScienceOnline science communicators' conference and at the North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences. The researchers handed out swabs to 60 intrigued, if grossed out, volunteers. Back to the lab, the scientists examined the genetic makeup of their bacterial loot.

The Belly Button Biodiversity project had officially begun.

Welcome to the Jungle!

From 60 belly buttons, the team found 2,368 bacterial species, 1,458 of which may be new to science.

Some belly buttons harbored as few as 29 species and some as many as 107, although most had around 67. Ninety-two percent of the bacteria types showed up on fewer than 10 percent of subjects—in fact, most of the time, they appeared in only a single subject.

One science writer, for instance, apparently harbored a bacterium that had previously been found only in soil from Japan—where he has never been.

Another, more fragrant individual, who hadn't washed in several years, hosted two species of so-called extremophile bacteria that typically thrive in ice caps and thermal vents.

Even though not a single strain showed up in each subject, eight species were present on more than 70 percent of the subjects. And whenever these species appeared, they did so in huge numbers.

"That makes the belly button a lot like rain forests," Dunn said. In any given forest, he explained, the spectrum of flora might vary, but an ecologist can count on a certain few dominant tree types.

"The idea that some aspects of our bodies are like a rain forest—to me it's quite beautiful," he added. "And it makes sense to me as an ecologist. I understand what steps to take next; I can see how that works."

But predicting which species might like to call the human body home is only the first step. To make the knowledge useful, scientists need to know why these bacteria show up.

"We're all like the guys before Darwin who went out and brought this stuff on the ship and said, Check out this bird that's totally weird—this has got to be important!

"They were still so far from understanding the big picture," Dunn said. "That's where we are."

Hoping to answer those broader questions, Dunn's team is already working on several hundred more navels—soon to be 600. They'll use those new samples to start testing the correlation of the navel dwellers with everything from subjects' places of birth to the makeups of their immune systems.

Making connections such as these could help shed light on the ties between our bacterial hosts and their effects on health. Researchers believe that microbes—not just in the belly button but in every nook and cranny of the human body—are involved in everything from immune function to acne to skin softness. The potential boon to medicine is enormous but out of reach until scientists can clarify what the microbes are doing in the first place, and why they're there.

In the meantime, the lab has kicked off pilot studies for their next citizen-science spectacular: Armpit-pa-looza.


Goll...ey! I can't wait for that one, can you? Science is fascinating, don't'cha think? All these new discoveries being made. And to think...you're belly and mine could be right on the cutting edge!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The Best Valentine’s Day Gift for Women!

Hi ya and Happy Valentine Day, eh! Fill your coffee mug and munch on a heart-shaped Valentine muffin to celebrate this auspicious day. So...what could possibly beat a box of chocolates and a dozen roses on Valentine's Day? Read on, eh!

Combining two of women’s favorite things in the world, chocolate and shoes, Texas chocolatier Andrea Pedrazza creates what can only be considered the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for the ladies – chocolate high-heels.

The two weeks before Valentine’s Day is the busiest time of the year for Dallas-based chocolate shop CocoAndre. I’m sure there are other great places to buy tasty chocolate in D-Town, but only here can men find the most delicious designer shoes at a fraction of the price. 

Master chocolatier Andrea Pedrazza pours the brown goodness into plastic high-heel molds and decorates them with gourmet ingredients to make them look as realistic as possible. Unsurprisingly, her most popular creations are chocolate Christian Louboutin shoes which sell for $35. To recreate the designer’s signature red soles, the food artist uses red ganache. 

Available styles include simple colors, zebra or cheetah print and polka dots, so men wanting to gift their wives with their favorite shoes for cheap are bound to find something they like.

Yippee! Looks like a winner to me, eh. What's next? Chocolate Air Jordans for basketball fans? Football cleats? Golfing shoes a la chocolate? Here in Thailand, it would have to be sandals of some kind but the chocolate would melt before you had hiked a block anyway so perhaps that's not such a great idea. Anyway, it's the thought that counts, right? 

See ya, eh!

Bob

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Dad Agrees to Pay Daughter to stop using Facebook

Hey! Hey! Thanks for clicking by today. Good to see you. You weren't on Facebook just before were you? Well charge your mug with coffee and snag a virtual treat while you're at it and let me tell you about one guy's answer to getting his daughter off Facebook...at least for a while, eh.

A Boston father and his 14-year-old daughter have recently made the headlines after the man posted a photo of a Facebook Deactivation Agreement that states the girl will receive $200 if she doesn’t log into her Facebook account for the next five months.

Facebook addiction is one of the most talked-about issues of the moment, and when it comes to teens, the problem is even bigger. But one Boston parent may have found the perfect way to convince his daughter to take a nice long break from the popular social media platform – he’s paying her $200. The enterprising young girl has managed to strike a deal with her father, Paul Baier, that involves him paying her $50 in April and an extra $150 in June, if she respects her part of the agreement. “It was her idea, which I fully support,”

Paul said,“She wants to earn money and also finds Facebook a distraction and a waste of time sometimes.”

Aha! A novel idea or just a new spin on the old 'cold turkey' withdrawal process? Worth a try? If there's someone in your family you want to get off Facebook, let me know if it works for you!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Monday, February 11, 2013

How to Catch All the Fish in a Lake in 15 Minutes!

Hi ya! Great to see you today. Wassup? Fill your mug with some of that delightfully dark Arabica nectar and accompany it with a virtual treat. Say...do you like to fish? Well here's a place to avoid!

Just beneath the village of Bamba, in the Northern part of Dogon country in Mali, lies a small, yet sacred lake, where fishing is permitted only once a year – during the unique ritual called Antogo.

In the past, Bamba is said to have been covered in lush green forests. The lake, which is considered to be sacred and populated with good spirits, used to offer tons of fish that contributed to local food requirements. But with changes in climate, desertification, and the passage of time, the region gradually became dry, infertile and inhospitable. The locals now face huge problems such as unavailability of water, but the lake still represents a precious resource to the local Dogons, but one which they exhaust every year during Antogo. The event is held on the 6th month of the dry season, generally in May, but the exact date is fixed each year by the council of wise men.

Saturdays are market days in Bamba, and for the first three market days of the month wooden sticks are placed in the middle of the lake, acting as a signal, a warning that the ritual is getting closer. On the day that is finally designated as the day of Antogo, hundreds gather from all parts of Mali around Bamba’s lake. The 3 biggest groups are formed by the most respected and ancient families of various Dogon villages.

The group from Bamba itself is usually the largest. These groups of people maintain a collective mystical silence, except for the wise who recite incantations and praise deities. When they are done speaking, the ritual itself – and all the magic associated with it – begins.


Let the fishing begin and let the heck out of my way!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Sunday, February 10, 2013

One for the Road!

Top of the day to you, eh! May you be in Heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead! Not that I'm suggesting your time is imminent, I should mention. Pour your grand self a mug of coffee and personhandle a virtual treat onto your plate. Try one with the emerald icing, why don't'cha? Now...score one for senior citizens in Ireland, eh!

The Kerry, Ireland, county council voted in January to let some people drive drunk. The councillors reasoned that in the county's isolated regions, some seniors live alone and need the camaraderie of the pub, but fear a DUI arrest on the way home. 

The councillors thus empowered police to issue DUI permits to those targeted drivers. Besides, reasoned the councillors, the area is so sparsely populated that such drivers never encounter anyone else on the road at night. 

(The councillors' beneficence might also have been influenced, reported BBC News, by the fact that "several" of the five voting "yea" own pubs.) [BBC News, 1-22-2013] 

Well faith and begorragh. It's about time, wouldn't'cha say? So, pour me another Murphy's for the ditch, Paddy, if you would be so kind!

See ya, eh!

Bob 

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Bionic Man Has Fully Functional Mechanical Organs

Well, hi there! Great to see you, y'know...but then it always is. Help yourself to a perky mug of Arabica and a virtual pastry, doughnut or muffin. I have to say that eating is one of the pleasures of being human, wouldn't you say? Well some day in the future, we may not have to and I think that would be a shame. Listen to this...

With working organs and a realistic face, the world’s most high-tech humanoid made his debut in London yesterday and will be a one-man show at the city’s London Science Museum starting tomorrow.

The robot goes by Rex (short for robotic exoskeleton) or Million-Dollar Man (because that’s how much it cost to build him). Rex looks somewhat lifelike in that he has prosthetic hands, feet and a face modeled after a real man. That man is Swiss social psychologist Bertolt Meyer, who himself has a prosthetic hand. Such technology is now becoming more widely available to the general public. 

But where Rex really breaks new ground is his suite of working organs. The team of roboticists, called Shadow, that created Rex incorporated various individual body parts built in labs all over the globe. He acts as a sort of showcase to demonstrate the human organs that are currently being built in the lab and what they can do.

Rex has a heart that beats with the help of a battery, and eyes that actually kind of see: Rex’s glasses send images to a microchip in his retina, which in turn sends electrical pulses to the brain, forming shapes and patterns. But the roboticists didn’t even try to tackle the complexity of the human brain this time. 

Rex’s fist-sized dialysis unit works like a real kidney, and his mock spleen can filter infections from his “blood.” This filtering function could eventually be extremely helpful in a human, but Rex’s mock-circulatory system pumps a synthetic blood that is immune to infection.

Rex’s creators say he is the most complete bionic man to date. Altogether, scientists can now replicate a good portion of the human body’s working parts, and research on much of the rest is already underway. 

The technology is impressive, and may one day help people who need new kidneys or infection-resistant blood. But Meyer says these advances also bring up some big questions about the ethics of building people and their parts.

The future is here, eh! Bring it on. I have already said to Nong that with the problems I am having with my feet, back and neck, maybe sometime in the future, the answer will be a bionic body from the neck down. Not for a long time yet, though, eh. 

The next step after than will be a 'transformer' body that can turn itself into a vehicle and thus eliminate the need for a car. Yeah, you guessed it...we watched Transformers the other night. I wouldn't usually watch that stuff but the technology is amazing.

See ya, eh!

Bob 

PS: Bangkok already has a restaurant where the waiters are robots!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Eating From Foam Food Containers is Risky Business

Greetings from Pattaya, eh! We're enjoying the heat. It's a pleasant change from February in Canada...that's for sure. Fill your mug (not a foam container!) and wrangle one of those virtual mega muffins onto your plate. Having done that, sit back and enjoy while I tell you why you shouldn't use foam food containers.

BANGKOK: -- The widespread practice in Thailand of using foam containers or plastic bags for “take away” food orders is a hidden health hazard, doctors warn. Heated food causes chemicals like styrene to leach into the food and end up absorbed by the body. Some chemicals are known carcinogens, so eating takeout food from foam containers should be minimized.

The type of foam generally used for takeout containers is Styrofoam, which is made from the black waste from the petroleum fuel distillation, says Dr. Weerachat Kittirattanapaibool, an environmental packaging specialist. That's wonderful to know, isn't it, eh!

Sytrofoam containers contain the chemical styrene, which has a molecular structure similar to estrogen hormone in females, Dr. Weerachat said. The problem is that any chemicals contained in the styrofoam will leach into the foods inside, especially if the food or liquid is hot.

The styrene is then consumed by humans along with the food. Although there are no definitive studies of the long-term effect of styrene and other chemicals, evidence suggest that years of accumulating traces of chemicals in the body may lead to diseases or even premature death.

Doctors suspect chemicals like styrene can cause symptoms of “brain fog” resembling Alzheimer’s disease. Exposure to styrene may affect mood and cause irritability, and result in females having irregular menstrual periods, Dr. Weerachat said. Statistically, a person who eats at least one meal daily from Styrofoam containers for 10 years will increase his cancer risk 6 times above normal, he said. Other studies suggest similar risks from the plastic bags also used for takeout foods.

There are 3 types of carcinogens in styrene, which in males increases the risk of prostate cancer, and breast cancer for women, he said. Both sexes have a higher chance of getting liver cancer, even if they do not regularly drink alcohol, he added.

Styrene is classified as a hazardous material in the United States, which recently listed it as a carcinogen. Pregnant women who eat foods packed in polystyrene boxes have a greater risk of having a child with Down’s syndrome, or born with deformed body parts, the doctor warned,


Spoiled your day, have I? Nah...you and I just have to remember to minimize eating or drinking foods from styrofoam containers. Oops! Wish I had written this yesterday. We had food in foam containers last night. it is an accepted practice in Thailand...unfortunately. Only way to avoid the dreaded foam containers is not to take food out. I know all about 'brain fog' though!

See ya, eh!

Bob 


Thursday, February 7, 2013

4.5 Billion 'Alien Earths' May Populate Milky Way

Hi there! How's tricks? Ready for a great mug of coffee and a virtual treat? Natch! Say...you know me...always one eye skyward - though sometimes it's hard to drive like that, eh! I've just been reading where there may be billions of Earth-like alien planets in our Milky Way galaxy alone, and the nearest such world may be just a stone's throw away (in the cosmic scheme of things).

Astronomers have calculated that 6 percent of the galaxy's 75 billion or so red dwarfs — stars smaller and dimmer than the Earth's own sun — probably host habitable, roughly Earth-size planets. That works out to at least 4.5 billion such "alien Earths," the closest of which might be found a mere dozen light-years away, researchers said.

This artist’s conception shows a hypothetical habitable planet with two moons orbiting a red dwarf star. Astronomers have found that 6 percent of all red dwarf stars have an Earth-sized planet in the habitable zone, which is warm enough for liquid water on the planet’s surface. Since red dwarf stars are so common, then statistically the closest Earth-like planet should be only 13 light-years away. 


"We now know the rate of occurrence of habitable planets around the most common stars in our galaxy," co-author David Charbonneau, also of CfA, said in a statement. "That rate implies that it will be significantly easier to search for life beyond the solar system than we previously thought." [9 Exoplanets That Could Host Alien Life]

That search may bear fruit right in Earth's backyard, researchers said. Possibly vegetables as well!





Yessir...put me down for a Tim Hortons franchise!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Hardening Kindergarten Children in Siberia

Well, hey there! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes! C'mon in out of the cold, pour yourself a mugga and warm your hands on a couple of virtual doughnuts. Speaking or warming up, listen to this, eh...

The kids at the No. 317 kindergarten in Krasnoyarsk, Siberia are making themselves immune to flu viruses and winter colds by walking outside naked at temperatures as low as -15 degrees Celsius and pouring buckets of freezing cold water over their bodies.

Ever since photos and videos of the extreme hardening process were exposed in the media, the Siberian kindergarten has come under fire from parents worried about the children’s well-being. But caretakers like Margarita Filimonova insist the practice is totally safe, as the children are only allowed to go outside in the freezing weather after three years of slow training and medical testing. It might seem extreme, but the staff insist the practice makes the children fitter and improves their health significantly.

Kindergarten No. 317 has been hardening its children for the last 13 years, and some of the kids who went here went on to become Olympic champions in various sports. It’s the only institution of its kind in the region which uses this kind of extreme exercises.

Yeesh! I can't imagine what would happen if a kid forgot his homework, eh! And, what's for lunch?

"As part of our hardening process,the children have learned to enjoy food straight out of the freezer. Da! Children bite off a piece and throw the rest at their classmates. This toughens them up immensely and it combines eating and playtime.  We maintain a good first aid kit in case anyone gets hit with a frozen meatball!"

See ya, eh!

Bob

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Alaskan beer company uses beer as a fuel

Hi Ya! How's it going, eh?  Taking life with a grain of salt? Well, hoist a mug of roasted and brewed Arabica beans and grab a whole grain virtual muffin, why don't'cha? Speaking of grain, The Alaskan Brewing Company came to innovative idea to reduce its fuel oil consumption: the beer company is using beer as a fuel source. (Personally, I used beer as a fuel source for years!)

To be more specific, the company is using the wet grain, known as 'spent grain' - left over from the brewing process, as the fuel source for their new steam boiler. Alaskan is the first craft brewery in the world to use that brewing by-product, reducing the company’s fuel oil consumption in brewhouse operations by 60-70 percent.

"We have the unique honor of brewing craft beer in this stunning and remote place. But in order to grow as a small business here in Alaska and continue having a positive effect on our community, we have to take special efforts to look beyond the traditional to more innovative ways of brewing. Reducing our energy use makes good business sense, and good sense for this beautiful place where we live and play," said Alaskan Brewing co-founder Geoff Larson.

The company began the spent grain energy process in 1995 with the installation of a grain dryer. Company's experts designed the grain dryer to use up to 50 percent of the grain as a supplemental fuel source to heat the dryer itself.

In 2008, The Alaskan Brewing Company became the first craft brewery to install an energy saving piece of brewing equipment called a mash filter press. The mash filter press, in addition to providing greater efficiency, produces a lower-moisture-content spent grain than does the more traditional lautering process. This form of spent grain better lends itself to drying and for use as fuel for the brewery’s grain dryer and, ultimately, the new spent grain steam boiler system.

Over the latter months of the last year, the company completed the final stage of the process with the installation and commissioning of the $1.8 million, custom-constructed spent grain steam boiler.

Alaskan expects that the new boiler will eliminate the brewery’s use of fuel oil in the grain drying process and displace more than half of the fuel needed to create process steam in the brewhouse. The company expects to save nearly 1.5 million gallons of oil over the next ten years.

Well now, I'm impressed. But it's just a different way of thinking. I mean, they had all this left over grain they were throwing out so why not figure out a way to recycle it that would save them a bunch of money. Now that's innovation! I'll drink to that...but since I'm not drinking anymore, I'll hoist my coffee cup with you!

See ya, eh!

Bob