Stay clear of Bob Finnegan!

Top of the morning to ya! T'is grand that you clicked on by today, to be sure. Fix yourself a virtual Irish coffee and an Irish scone (recipe below). Now that you’re settled, allow me to tell you the story of a fellow in whose presence you do not want to be. A twenty-two-year-old Irishman, Bob Finnegan, was crossing the busy Falls Road in Belfast, when he was struck by a taxi and flung over its roof.

The taxi drove away and, as Finnegan lay stunned in the road, another car ran into him, rolling him into the gutter. It too drove on.

As a knot of gawkers gathered to examine the magnetic Irishman, a delivery van plowed through the crowd, leaving in its wake three injured bystanders and an even more battered Bob Finnegan.

When a fourth vehicle came along, the crowd wisely scattered and only one person was hit - Bob Finnegan.

In the space of two minutes Finnegan suffered a fractured skull, broken pelvis, broken leg, and other assorted injuries.

Hospital officials said he would recover. I think he might also like several stiff shots of Jamieson’s. Talk about getting that ‘run down’ feeling, eh!

See ya!

Bob

Here’s how to make Irish Scones:

2 sticks + 2 tbsp. butter
5 1/2 c. flour
3/4 c. sugar
1/4 c. baking powder
1 1/2 c. sour milk or buttermilk
1/2 c. yogurt
1 1/4 c. currants
1 egg yolk, beaten

Preheat oven to 350°F.

Cut the butter into little pieces and put into a small bowl. Using a pastry blender or 2 knives, cut in flour, sugar and baking powder. Using pastry blender or two knives, blend shortening with flour until mixture has the texture of coarse cornmeal.

Combine the sour milk (you can sour milk by adding a few drops of lemon juice and letting it stand a few minutes) or buttermilk and yogurt together. Add to the flour mixture, stirring it in quickly with a fork.

Turn the slightly sticky dough out onto a lightly floured board, stir in the currants and quickly knead them into the dough, working the dough as little as possible.

Divide the dough into four equal parts. Pat each part into a circle 1 inch thick and then cut each circle into 8 pie-shaped wedges. Transfer the pieces onto a lightly floured baking sheet and brush the tops with the beaten egg yolk. Bake for approximately 15-20 minutes or until golden brown and cooked through.

Makes 32 scones.  Dunking them in your Irish coffee is optional!

Comment from Bones probably in Quebec:

Have you ever seen the Willard Wale it lives in the Brown lagoon just off the new sewage plant in Borneo. It's life cycle is only 2 years as it swims very slowly in ever diminishing circles 'til it swims up it's own rectum.....

Bones, probably from Québec