Canadian Sets Speed Record on the Crapper!

Hi there! How're ya going, as they say in Oz? Great to see ya. Okay so I'm guilty of running the occasional post about bathrooms and/or poo. I admit it. Oops...here's another one...and we came in first. Yea!

Most speed records that involve the toilet are set by people who have to run to one, but one Canadian stuntwoman made history by riding one.

She's Jolene Van Vugt, 31, and she's flushed with excitement after riding a motorized toilet into the Guinness World Record book at a speed of 46 mph.

"I flew into Australia yesterday and came out here to jump straight on the toilet," she told the BBC. "That was so fun and I'm stoked to get the record."

It wasn't easy. To win the record, she had to drive the craptastic contraption -- which, according to National Post, was basically a go-kart with porcelain toilet in place of a driver’s seat -- 330 feet in both directions. Early on, her chain kept falling off, but finally got repaired.

At one point, the whole attempt was almost dumped because Van Vugt couldn't stop wobbling all over the place on the bumpy track.

"The cobblestones were a bit dangerous and proved problematic for me,'' she told the Telegraph. "The kick off them almost threw me.''

World records are nothing new to Van Vugt, whose previous Guinness records include being the first female to backflip a dirt bike, performing the longest backflip and backflipping a dirtbike over Arizona's Grand Canyon,according to Sky News.

Still, when all is said and done, she keeps thinking about the toilet.

"I've broken Guiness World Records before but I never thought I'd be the fastest toilet rider in the world,'' she told the Sydney Morning Herald.

This is really a case of "Go Canada Go, eh!" Talk about dumping on the competition!

Can't you hear the conversation at Aussie Customs...

"G'day. Are you bringing any fruits, veggies, firearms or anything else into 'stralia?"

"Just a toilet."

"A toilet? We do have 'em here, you know, Sheila."

"Nah, this is a special racing toilet, eh. And my name's Joylene."

"Hey, Bruce, get a load of this, mate. This Sheila's brought her own crapper to Oz."

"Oh yeah. I was reading about that in the papers. They actually race toilets in Canada. Race's tomorra."

"Are you serious, Bruce?"

"Fair dinkum, mate!"

"Well, good on you, Sheila. I hope you beat the crap out of the competition..."

See ya, eh!

Bob