Well hello there and sawasdee, krup! Glad you could make it today. If this post looks a little slanted it's because I'm typing with the middle finger on my right hand. I tried to grate the end off my index finger a couple days ago so I've put it on the 14-day disabled list. Fill your mug and grab hold of a virtual treat, why don't'cha?
Y'know...one of the funny papers I try to read every now and then is the Thai "Not the Nation" - a parody of news featured in "The Nation" - one of Bangkok's two English dailies. I'm not sure if Not the Nation is still up and printing but here is an article from some time back. I think it is hilarious. I know the symptoms and have seen the poor missionaries trying desperately to convert the patient Buddhist majority. Read on:
Infectious condition known to kill all joy, pleasure
BANGKOK – The Health Ministry has issued its most serious health watch since the SARS outbreak of 2002, warning all Thais that the country is under threat of a major Mormon outbreak.
The condition, originating in the central United States, is known to be highly contagious and in many cases terminal. Symptoms include pale, pimpled skin, social unpopularity, and a severe loss of pleasure and happiness in life. Virginity at the age of 30 is considered a major marker of the disease.
“Those who have full-blown cases of Mormon rarely die from it, but experience a quality of life that’s almost not worth living,” said Health Minister Jurin Laksanawisit. “And the suffering it inflicts on the family is almost like losing a loved one.”
The Ministry further warned that communities that experience endemic widespread Mormon are in danger of social collapse. “In the worst-case scenarios, entire cities can become empty of all arts and culture, lose all their diversity and interest in the real world around them, and even engage in a collective mania to build ugly marble buildings with gold statues on top.”
Jurin was quick to point out that there was no need to panic, as many populations had demonstrated a natural resistance to Mormon, with the highest incidence of immunity recorded in large cities with vibrant, international culture.
“The WHO guidelines for containing Mormon suggest that maintaining a sense of humor, keeping an open mind, and studying real American history can all decrease the chances of catching Mormon,” the minister said. “But the best cure is still prevention.”
“If any pale, nerdy, white-shirted carriers are spotted in public, avoid talking to them,” Jurin recommended. “I mean, even more than you would have anyway.”
See ya, eh!
Bob
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