Neuticles: Fake Testicles for Your Pet

Hi Ya! Wassup? Everything okay at your end? I'm not being personal but we'll talk more about ends in a minute...once you've filled your mug with dark nectar and snaggled a virtual treat to nibble on. Now, where was I? Ah...we were talking about ends so here we go...

This takes the virtual cake for being weird, as well as a bizarre use of up to $800 — testicular implants for animals that have been neutered. The price depends on whether you buy small, medium or large. Inventor, Gregg Miller, calls them Neuticles, which admittedly is a great name, but still does not seem to warrant the 500,000 pairs of them that have been sold and implanted.

Mr. Miller says the idea is to “let people restore their pets’ anatomical preciseness.”  This helps, he says, with self-esteem. I am not sure if he means the self-esteem of the owner or the pet.  But he continues, by adding, “Neutering is creepy. But with Nueticles, it’s like nothing has changed.”  Well, except for the very weird fact that an animal now has a fake body part!

For the record, cats and dogs are the top recipients of Neuticals, but they have also been implanted in a monkey and a groundhog.

So, who orders these fake testicles? Well, Americans from every state and people from over 49 countries. One of the latest purchasers is, surprise, surprise, Kim Kardashian.

Before, we laugh this silly idea right out of the Care2 community (from whence I liberated the story, eh), it did dawn on me, that maybe, just maybe, people who hesitate – or even refuse – to neuter their male pets due to the perceived indignity of having their manhood removed (again, not sure if this applies to the pet or owner more), may agree to neuter, if cosmetically their pet will still look fully intact. What do you think?

See ya, eh!

Bob