Hello...hello...anybody there?

Hi ya! How's life treating you today, eh? Help yourself to a mugga and a virtual treat. Say...you know I like to rag the governments of the world from time to time, huh. Well now I think this is was probably a good idea but there appears to have been something amiss in the implementation...like communication, training...

One of the principal recommendations following the Sept. 11 attacks was that emergency and rescue personnel have one secure radio frequency on which all agencies that were merged into the Department of Homeland Security could communicate. 

In November, the department's inspector general revealed that, despite $430 million allotted to build and operate the frequency in the last nine years, it remains almost useless to DHS' 123,000 employees. 

The report surveyed 479 workers, but found only one who knew how to find the frequency, and 72 percent did not even know one existed (and half the department's radios couldn't have accessed it even if employees knew where to look).

Nice follow through, guys! I suppose in some quarters 430 million is a drop in the bucket - even though it is more than the GNP of quite a few countries in the world. Tell you what...now that I've retired, I've got time on my hands. How about hiring me as an international communications consultant? I'll put on seminars in every major US city for the HS personnel and anyone else who needs training in finding a specific radio frequency. I'm prepared to do it for a mere $2 million a year after taxes. I expect it to take me three to four years to cover all the airports, border crossing points, HQ, regional HQs, and all the other agencies tied into HS. I may take me a little longer to cover Hawaii, Puerto Rico and the Marianas Islands but, hey...what's the hurry. Did I mention benefits? Condo in Honolulu? First class travel and a dark blue stretch Lincoln Town car with an espresso machine in the back for my airport transfers? Mere details. Set it up and I'll be ready to go Monday.

See ya, eh!

Bob