Datta Phuge's Solid Gold Shirt

Hi there! How's tricks? Make your way over to the coffeepot, splash some Arabica into your mug and snag a virtual doughnut or muffin on your way over to the table here, all right? Yeah! Golden! Did I say golden? I did, didn't I. That's become an expression meaning "Great!", "Fantastic!" as in, "It's golden!" akin to the British "Brilliant!". Well listen to this...

Datta Phuge, a chit fund businessman from Pimpri, India, refers to himself as “The Gold Man of Pimpri” and in order to live up to this image, he has recently commissioned a 22-karat gold shirt weighing 3.2 kilograms that’s bound to make some Western rappers green with envy.

According to India Today, gold-obsessed businessmen and politicians are nothing new in India. Not long ago, a man by the name of Ramesh Wanjale was spotted wearing 2 kilos of gold, then NCP functionary Samrat Moze wore 8.5 kilograms of gold in the form of jewelry and ornaments, but chit fund Datta Phuge found a way to one-up them both. He had a team of 15 goldsmiths working 18 hours a day for over 15 days in order to finish a 3.5 kg woven gold shirt.”

The gold shirt has been one of my dreams,” Mr Phuge told Indian newspaper the Pune Mirror. “It will be an embellishment to my reputation as the ‘Gold man of Pimpri’”, Phuge said. His extravagant garment consists of 14,000 gold flowerrings, interwoven with one lakh spangles. It was assembled on a fabric base of imported white velvet, and comes with six Swarovski crystal buttons and an intricate belt, also made of gold.

Okay, okay, but I've got a couple of questions, eh. Like...how do you wash it...other than very carefully? Also...how many bodyguards does he have when he goes outside? You don't think there's anyone in India who might covet said shirt? 3.5 kg of gold would set up a whole village for many years, I'd think! He's got a few other baubles around his neck and arms, too.

See ya, eh!

Bob