Horseless Show Jumping

Hi Ya! How's tricks? Coffee's fresh and the VTs are hot and delicious...no horsing around! Y'know, I seldom watch equestrian events...occasionally Olympics but not much else. Well here's another related sport that won't be atop my list either!

Horse show jumping is a longtime Olympics sport, but for the last 10 years, equestrians have been performing in "horseless" show jumping, in which horse courses are run by "riders" on foot (who, by the way, do not straddle broomsticks).

According to an October report in The Wall Street Journal, an international association headed by retired pro equestrian Jessica Newman produces at least 15 shows a year, with between 40 to 130 competitors galloping over jumps that vary from two to four feet high (five feet in "Grand Prix" events), with the "riders" graded as if they were on horses (timed, with points off for contacting the rails). Explained Newman about the shows' success: "It's just fun to be a horse." [The Wall Street Journal, 10-8-2012]

 So there you have it. I guess one consolation is that you don't have to have someone with a broom and scooper following the contestants...one would hope not anyway, eh! People do all the work and the horses can just lounge around (or whatever they do) and have a good giggle at people stumbling about and knocking bars off the jumps.

See ya, eh!

Bob

Shark Falls From Sky  Onto Golf Course

A salubrious day to you...and thanks for clicking by. Coffee's freshly roasted and brewed (sorry...it's not  Black Ivory) And...here's Madge hoisting a tray of virtual goodies just for your pleasure. You know...in my books, you're either a golfer or you're not. I am not and, not that I need another reason not to play, but here's one anyway. A shark has been rescued after it dropped out of the sky onto the 12th hole at a golf course in California.

San Juan Hills Golf Club operations director Melissa McCormack said a course marshal found the leopard shark writhing around on the course and brought it to the clubhouse.

There the two-foot long fish was placed into a bucket of water which was quickly salted by an employee who remembered that it would normally be found in seawater.

Cart attendant Bryan Stizer reportedly used his break to drive the shark back to the Pacific Ocean, about five miles away.

"I thought he was dead," Mr Stizer told the Capistrano Dispatch newspaper. "When I dropped him into the water, he just lied there for a few seconds, but then he did a twist and shot off into the water."

It is believed the shark had been snatched up by a large bird of prey, such as an osprey or peregrine falcon, which then lost its grip on its dinner.

Two bleeding puncture marks were seen near the fish's dorsal fin. See how dangerous playing golf can be? Sharks falling out of the sky...ospreys and falcons hovering around looking for lunch. Not for me.

See ya, eh!

Bob

World’s Most Expensive Coffee Is Made from Elephant Dung

Hey! Hey! You're looking good today? Been working out, have you? Me neither. It's the mental attitude that does it. So, can I entice you with a splendid mug of Black Ivory Coffee? How about an elephant sized doughnut - low fat of course?  Say...do you remember some time ago, I wrote about an expensive coffee from Indonesia that was made from coffee beans eaten, digested and excreted by Civits? Well, this one's even pricier!

Black Ivory coffee is made from beans eaten and digested by Thai elephants, and is priced at $1,100 per kilogram. Enjoy!

I knew elephants in Thailand were good at painting, but I didn’t know they also make great coffee. The rare Black Ivory blend is served at only four resorts around the world, three in the Maldives and one in Thailand. The people behind the exclusive Anantara Resorts came up with the unusual idea of making coffee from elephant-digested beans. As weird and disgusting as it sounds, their idea actually makes sense, in theory.

According to research, enzymes in the elephant’s stomach break down the proteins in the coffee beans, and since proteins is one of the main factors of its bitterness, less protein means less of a bitter taste. Science in action!

The drink resulted from the elephant-refined beans is said to be floral and chocolaty, with the taste containing notes of ‘milk chocolate, nutty, earthy with hints of spice and red berries.’



Golly gee...We're heading back to Canada on Friday so I'm not sure we'll have a chance to scoot down the coast to the Anantara Resort for a mug of their coffee. Shucks!


See ya, eh!


Bob

World’s Strongest Beer Called Armageddon Is Stronger Than Whiskey

Hi ya! Thanks for clicking by today. Fill your mug and try one of our new Armageddon Muffins. Careful! They have a kick to them.

Appropriately named Armageddon, the new beer from Scotland’s Brewmeister Brewery will probably end your days if you drink too much of it. The potent concoction has an alcohol content of 65% by volume. That’s stronger than vodka or whiskey. The only things that beat it are Jamaica's Appleton 151 proof rum and homemade moonshine...both of which I confess to have tried and survived to tell about it.

Although the Guinness Book of Records has yet to certify Armageddon as the world’s strongest beer, that hasn’t stopped Brewmeister from slapping the unofficial title on the label. And who can blame them, after all, that’s what makes their drink so special.

Company co-founder, Lewis Shand says Armageddon “is closer to a liquor than a beer, but it is classified as a beer and we are pleased with it.” He added that “it delivers a supersonic-charged explosion and delivers the drinker to Drunksville”. That’s probably why Brewmeister’s brewers have cautioned that the beer should be sipped and served in small doses.

I don't know about you but I tink I'm gonna haf another muffinsh...as soon as my legsh shtart to work again. Dang that's good stuff!

See ya, eh!

Bob

 The Ultimate Toy!

Just when you though it was safe to go out of the house, Japanese company Suidobashi Heavy Industry has officially announced their awesome boardable mecha, the KURATS, is now available for purchase. And it costs only $1.35 million. Why don't you pour yourself a mugful of coffee and snag one of thise virtual muffins while we talk about where we'll get the money for one of these 'must have' boys' toys, eh.

I know it sounds like a lot of money, but we’re talking about the world’s first consumer mecha, which means you can buy it and use it to take your shot at world domination or just scare the hell out of your neighbors by riding in it on the street.

If you’re a fan of Gundam or Armored Core, this thing is exactly what you’ve been dreaming of for years. It’s a 4,500-kilogram-robot that you can control and interact with using Microsoft Kinect motion sensors.

You can either step into the built-in one person cockpit, or remotely control its actions with your smartphone, via 3G internet. RocketNews24 first reported on the KURATAS in May, but back then it was just a cool prototype. Now, its makers have announced their personal mecha is going into production and can be bought for ¥100 million ($1,35 million).

All you guys with Hummers, eat your hearts out, eh. Once I get my KURATS, I'll walk all over your Hummers!


Say, could you lend me $1.35 million till payday?


See ya, eh!


Bob

PS: Can it shovel snow?

10 Cancer-Causers to Remove From Your Home

Aha! There you are. Wonderful to see you today. Wassup? Fill your mug and pick your choose from the tray of virtual goodies on display. Now that you're settled in your chair, I want to bend your ear about cleaning products and many other things we use that may have bad effects on us and our families.
These are from care2.com.

Given poor government regulation, many of the cleaning products available on the market contain “everyday” carcinogens such as formaldehyde, nitrobenzene, methylene chloride, and napthelene, as well as reproductive toxins and hormone disruptors. Not to mention other ingredients that cause liver, kidney and brain damage, allergies and asthma.  One of the best things you can do to detox your home is to create a simple non-toxic cleaning kit to use–most of the ingredients you probably already have on hand.

But there are a host of products, other than those used for basic cleaning, that often contain carcinogenics. This list, from Cancer: 101 Solutions to a Preventable Epidemic (New Society Publishers, 2007) cautions against 10 household products, in addition to cleaners, that you should avoid having in your house.

1. Air fresheners: Often contain napthelene and formaldehyde. Try zeolite or natural fragrances from essential oils.

2. Art supplies: Epoxy and rubber cement glues, acrylic paints and solvents, and permanent markers often contain carcinogens.

3. Automotive supplies: Most are toxic. Keep them safely away from the house and dispose of at a hazardous waste disposal center.

4. Candles: Avoid artificially scented paraffin candles that produce combustion by-products, including soot. Beeswax only, with cotton wicks.

5. Carpet and upholstery shampoos: Use only wet-clean, natural ingredients.

6. Dry-cleaning: Choose clothes that don’t need perchlorethylene to clean them. Ask for the wet-cleaning option at you local cleaners, or seek dry-cleaners that use liquid C02 or citrus juice cleaners.

7. Flea, tick and lice control: Avoid lindane-based pesticides.

8. Paints and varnishes: Always chose low- or no-VOC finishes.

9. Household pesticides: Go natural. Make a Sugar Ant Hotel.

10. Microwaves: Never microwave or heat food in a plastic container.

That covers a lot of ground but really I wonder what your exposure level has to be for any of these things to do serious damage? Good to know about these things though!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Green Tea May Slow Down Prostate Cancer

Hi there! How're you doing today? Perking right along? Now I'm a coffee fan as you know but I also like a nice cup of tea and often that is green tea. How about you? While you are munching on your virtual treat of the day and sipping your Arabica, here's something I liberated from Dr. Weil's health web site.

Drinking six cups of green tea daily may slow the growth of prostate cancer. A study from UCLA's David Geffen School of Medicine, presented at the annual conference of the American Association for Cancer Research, showed that men scheduled for prostate removal who drank lots of green tea tamped down inflammation associated with the disease in the weeks leading up to surgery. This anti-inflammatory change might slow the growth of the tumor, the researchers suggested.

A total of 67 patients participated in the study. One group drank six cups of brewed green tea daily for three to eight weeks before surgery while the others drank water. After surgery, blood and urine samples analyzed along with tissue samples showed that the men who drank the green tea had lower signs of inflammation, PSA levels and expression of DNA damage than the men who drank water.

However, the researchers noted that no significant difference in tumor cell growth showed up between the two groups of men. Larger studies will be needed to confirm these findings. In the meantime, drinking green tea won't hurt and might possibly benefit prostate cancer patients.

I was reading something recently claiming that most men will get prostate cancer - only many of us will die before it becomes an issue. Gloomy thought but it just means the disease is slower in some folks than in others. Well, if prostate cancer weighs on your mind, reach for green tea... five or six cups a day.

Okay... it prompts a question. Does green tea ice cream count?

See ya, eh!

Bob

This Photo Is Actually a Pencil Perfect Drawing

Well hi ya. How's it going, eh? Mosey on over to the coffeepot and draw yourself a mugful. While you're over there, don't forget to pick up an artistically decorated virtual treat. Now you know I am a fan a of unusual art, right? Well here's a guy who really knows how to get the lead out when it comes to realism.

At just 22 years old, Italian artist Diego Fazo has developed the skill to create photo-realistic drawings using a simple charcoal pencil. His latest creation, pictured here, has drawn hundreds of positive comments on his Deviant Art profile.

Don’t tell me you can tell the image below is a drawing and not a high-definition photograph, because I don’t buy it. In fact people were so skeptical this incredible piece of art was drawn by hand that young Diego Fazo had to put up some photos of the work in progress just to lay doubts to rest. And looking at his-mind-blowing masterpiece, can you really blame people for  questioning it’s hand-drawn?

Like other talented artists who started their careers on Deviant Art, Diego is a self-taught pencil master whose technique matured with the passing of the years. He started out as a tattoo artist, and developed a passion for creating photo-realistic drawings. Inspired by the works of Japanese artists from the Edo period, like Katsushika Hokusai, he managed to capture people’s imaginations with his precise lines and oriental drawing techniques.

I also belong to Deviant Art (no surprise there, eh!) but I'm still waiting for fame and fortune to come my way. Meanwhile, I'm trying to be careful not to spill any coffee on my art masterpieces, less'n of course I'm doing some coffee painting.


See ya, eh!


Bob

British engineers create petrol from air and water

British engineers create petrol from air and water

Hey there! Pour yourself a steaming mug of java and manoeuver one of those virtual treats onto your plate.  Don't worry...it won't give you gas!

I remember seeing a sign advertising a gas station and restaurant. It said: EAT HERE! GET GAS! Anyway, I just thought about that as I was writing this blogpost. I've heard of creating gas from corn, used vegetable oil, chicken poop and a few other things I can't think of at the moment. But now, they're making gas/petrol from air and water. A small British company has developed a way to create petrol from air and water, technology it hopes may one day contribute to large-scale production of green fuels.

Engineers at Air Fuel Synthesis (AFS) in Teeside, northern England, say they have produced 5 liters of synthetic petrol over a period of three months.

The technique involves extracting carbon dioxide from air and hydrogen from water, and combining them in a reactor with a catalyst to make methanol. The methanol is then converted into petrol.

"It's actually cleaner because it's synthetic," Peter Harrison, chief executive officer of AFS, said in an interview.

"You just make what you need to make in terms of the contents of it, so it doesn't contain what might be seen as pollutants, like sulphur," he said.

The work is part of a two-year project that has so far cost around 1 million pounds ($1.6 million).  The green petrol will not appear on forecourts any time soon, though.

"We can't make (the petrol) at pump prices, but we will do eventually," Harrison said. "All we need is renewable energy to make it, and so when oil becomes a problem we will be able to make a contribution to keep cars moving or to keep aeroplanes moving."

AFS said it was confident the technology could be scaled up to refinery size in the future. Each of the processes that go into making the fuel already take place separately on an industrial scale.

For now, however, AFS plans to build a commercial plant in the next two years that will produce around 1,200 liters a day of specialist fuels for the motorsports sector, Harrison said.

1,200 liters? That's a drop in the bucket, guys! I know...it's only a start but you need to ramp it up by a factor of 1000, I'd say. Let's see...so far you've spent 1.6 million and have produced 5 liters. That'd be about, hmmm...$320,000 a liter. Yup! Not far off the price at the pumps.

See ya, eh!

Bob

Another Bad Case of Flush-a-Phobia!

Hi Ya! I'm delighted that you clicked by the blog today. You must have some insider secrets, eh? You seem to know when the coffee's perked and a fresh assortment of piping hot muffins, pastries and doughnuts has just come out of the oven. Help yourself.  Say...do you remember me talking a while back about having a case of flush-o-phobia? That's where you're flying at 39,000 feet and nature calls so you trot to the back of the plane and wait your turn to nip into one of those less than closet sized loos. Then the fear takes over that you might accidentally hit the 'WOOSH!' button with your elbow and be sucked ass-first out of the plane. Well, here's a lady who has a different version of flush-o-phobia.

Can you imagine having to ask someone else to flush the toilet for you because you’re too terrified it will swallow you up? That’s exactly what 20-year-old Ney Decino, from Church Village, Wales, has to go through every day.

“The sound of the water sends shivers down my spine. It’s awful. I swear it will swallow me up. Once I’ve flushed, the sound of it and the look of the water going down, it freaks me out,” Ney says.

She has had an irrational fear of toilets ever since watching a scene in the 1990 film Look Who’s Talking Too, starring John Travolta and Kirsty Alley. It showed an imaginary big-eyed, sharp-toothed character called Mr. Toilet Man, who screams it wants the child’s pee.

Ney, on the other hand, hasn’t, and she has had to deal with her phobia for most of her life. The young mother says she only goes to the toilet in public if it’s an absolute emergency, and always tries to find work close to home, so she can use the only toilet she feels safe on. And even there, she has problems flushing if she’s by herself. She will use a friend’s toilet if she has to, but only if they or a family member flush for her. Now, she’s trying to face her fear by setting up a Facebook group and getting in touch with other phobia-sufferers.

I understand your fear, Ney, and I think I have a simple answer for you. Put the toilet lid down before you flush. The toilet can't get you then, can it?  Sit on it even. Not only should it cure your flush-a-phobia, but it is more sanitary, too. Did you know that when you flush your toilet, it sprays a fine mist of feces and urine bacteria out about four feet in all directions? Well, see, you've learned something new. That's a good reason never to touch the walls of toilet stalls in public washrooms. By the time you get there, who knows how many people have flushed before you since the walls were last cleaned? Another good reason to wash your hands well after using the facilities.

See ya, eh!

Bob

"Don't rush. Look before you flush."

A splendiferous day to you. I'm delighted that you clicked by today. Fill your mug and avail yourself of one of those delectable virtual treats. Try one of those long chocolate doughnuts with the yellow icing. Mmmm...yummy in your tummy! Today, I have a new business to tell you about. Everybody has to do their business so why not make a business around doing your business, eh?

Jordan and Bryan Silverman's start-up venture, Star Toilet Paper, distributes rolls to public restrooms in restaurants, stadiums and other locations absolutely free -- because the brothers have sold ads on each sheet. (Company slogan: "Don't rush. Look before you flush.")

Jordan, with 50 advertisers enlisted so far, told the Detroit Free Press in August that he came up with the idea, of course, while sitting on the can at the University of Michigan library. [Detroit Free Press via USA Today, 8-21-2012]


This is what capitalism is all about - a couple of guys with a good idea. Many start-up businesses go straight down the toilet so why not start there in the first place I say.

Personally, I wish them well...however, playing the Devil's Advocate, I have to wonder whether the ink will come off on your tush. Hey...I think that's a reasonable question, don't you? I mean you wouldn't want to be walking around with a reversed ad on your butt all day, now would you?




See ya, eh!

Bob
 

 

Stem Cell Breakthrough at Bangkok Hospital

Well, there you be. Somehow I knew you'd be clicking by right about now. Coffee's fresh and so are the virtual doughnuts, muffins and assorted pastries. Tempting, eh? Go for it! Hey... you know I keep my eyes and ears open for any medical or health news. Well, golly gee! I just read this and thought I'd share it with you. Anything that even remotely promises to slow down or cure one or more of the major diseases that plague us is welcome news. This is from Bangkok (close to home for another 2 weeks!).

 A Siriraj Hospital medical team this week announced its successful isolation of stem cells from amniotic fluid which they said will contribute to treatments of many chronic diseases.

Dr Udom Kachintorn, dean of the Siriraj medical school, said further research will be conducted on the use of stem cells to treat various illnesses including Alzheimer's, osteoarthritis, diabetes and spinal cord pain. These chronic ailments are related to deteriorating stem cells in a human body.

A preliminary lab test has been done with animals but it will take some time before the medical team starts testing on human beings, he said.

Dr Udom said stem cells normally spread all over a person's body but they are abundant and pure in an infant's umbilical cord and placenta.

Dr Tassanee Permthai, chief of the stem cell research project, said stem cells from the placenta of a four-month-old baby can be transplanted in a patient like fully-developed stem cells. 

Once transplanted in a patient’s body, the stem cells evolve into cells in different parts of the body, she explained, adding that the transplantation of stem cells can also prevent tumours. (MCOT online news)

Keep the good news flowing, doctors. We need your research.

See ya, eh!

Bob

Comment from Doug in Bangkok:

Hi Bob,
           I travelled through Amsterdam last year at Xmas/ New Year and indeed they do have some fancy scanners! I had inadvertently left my comb in my back pocket and I thought WW3 was about to start. Lights flashing and buzzers going off! As regards the confidentiality, I can just see the headlines now; given the current state of the media.

Doug

"Boob scanners" coming soon to your local airport

Hey, I'm glad you're here because I want to tell you about a different and invasive airport scanner. But first, pour yourself a refreshing mug of Arabica and scan your eyes across the glorious array of virtual treats awaiting you. Okay, then...are you ready for this? 

Security scanners that visually remove the clothes of passengers are to be installed at US airports. A random selection of travellers getting ready to board airplanes in Washington, New York, Los Angeles and other major cities will be shut in the glass booths while a three-dimensional image is made of their body beneath their clothes. 

The glass booths close around the passenger and emit 'millimetre waves' that pass through clothing to reveal metal, plastics, ceramics, tattoos, piercings and other body features according to the Transport Safety Authority. Although image is detailed, only security screeners sitting in another room will be able to ogle passengers clearly visible sexual organs.

Barry Steinhardt, of the  American Civil Liberties Union states that, 'People have no idea how graphic the images are'. 

In order to protect the passengers privacy, passengers faces will be blurred ( as can be seen in the above  photo) TSA authorities said.

To stop sexually charged security officers from printing themselves a copy of naked passengers for their own pleasure, images will not be stored.

A TSA spokesman said: 'Once the transportation security officers have viewed the image and resolved anomalies, the image is erased from the screen. 

Lara Uselding, a TSA spokeswoman, pointed out that passengers were not obliged to accept the new machines. "hot looking passengers can choose between the body imaging and the pat-down" she said with a smile. 

Amsterdam's Schipol airport has apparently already started using the scanners. Yeah, I can believe it in Amsterdam!

I am inclined to think that if they bring those scanners into Canada there, passengers there would consider it a true invasion of privacy and there would be a serious backlash against the scanners and whoever brought them in. Just my opinion, mind, but I remember when they put traffic-monitoring cameras on University Avenue in Toronto. People created such an invasion of privacy fuss that they had to remove the cameras.

No sirree...it'll be a pat-down for me every time. You know me, I'm always interested in new technology but this is a piece of technology that, I'm afraid, I disagree with...not that anyone in government ever asks me. However, there is a quick fix, sort of... instead of one room where they view the scans, set up one room staffed by women to view the female scans and the to the staffed by guys to view the male scans. Still invasive but at least most of the ogling factor would be removed.

See ya, eh!

Bob

 

Electric Fence and Lawn Mower!

Well, hey there! I thought it was you with your digit poised over the click button. Help yourself to a mug of java juice and a virtual treat. Now you know I'm always looking after your health and safety, right? Of course I am. That's why I wanted to share this true story from a retired dentist. Caution - don't attempt to drink or eat while reading this because it's so funny that you might have an 'accident in your...'!

"We have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence.

"Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence.. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.

"One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6 hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way.

"It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all.

"Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.

"Time stood still.

"The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.

"It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of shit lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.

"Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there
were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.

"At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences.....but Dad always had those pieces of shit chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled.

"This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas.

"Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank!

"Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, and with my vomit on my chest I think 'Oh God please die... Pleeeeaze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot.

"So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day.....he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created...

"I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire...I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas.. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned.

"There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire.

"Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things:

1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).

3- Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.

4- My left eye will not open.

5- My right eye will not close.

6- The lawnmower runs like a sumbitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that.

7- My nuts are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long.

8- I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this???)..

"That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things.. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

"The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow."

Hey, if you've got to mow the lawn, you need one of these... Runs like a chopped Deere. Mind the fence!!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Celebrity Fathering Service

Hi Ya! Somebody's always coming up with a new game...a new angle...a new fad.... a new whatever, right? Well that's because aside from being creative people, we're always looking for a new way to make a buck - or hopefully lots of them. Soon as you fill that mug you're holding in your outheld hand and choose a virtual treat, I'll bring you up to date on an interesting new service being offered.

Some women dream of having a celebrity’s baby. Well, now they can have their dream come true. Fame Daddy, the world’s first celebrity sperm donor service claims to have 40 A-listers on books, including am Oscar-winning actor, a rock star, a Formula 1 driver, a former football player and even a genius. For “just” £15,000 ($24,000), you can give your baby that X factor everyone seems to be looking for these days.

London-based Fame Daddy is a unique service advertised as the ideal way for girls to discover what it would be like to have a child with their favorite celebrity. There’s a catch, though, the identity of the donor is never revealed. Instead, clients are asked to complete a 12-question quiz about child’s ideal height and complexion, whether they’d like the father to be a popular actor, talented musician or an accomplished athlete, as well as other questions to help them determine which donor best fits their personality, character and lifestyle choices.

Later, a team of experts from Fame Daddy will help women choose the right father “that will compliment their biology and heritage. Donor fathers have apparently signed exclusive ‘donor’ deals on the basis of guaranteed anonymity and a legal waiver of their rights to access to the child.

Okay, I have a question, eh. Just so I've got this straight. Suppose the lady who gets preggers has twins. Does she have to pay an additional fee or is it a free bonus? Having two celebrity-gened kids would be great, I suppose. For some people anyway. Since the woman doesn't know for sure who the father is, it would be a big guessing game, wouldn't it?

"Shirley, I think he looks like Brad Pitt, don't you?"
"Hmmm...maybe, but I was leaning more towards David Beckham."
"You girls are both wrong. I can definitely see...oh, I can't remember his name...oh, yeah...Wesley Snipes!"

See ya, eh!

Bob

Snake in the Trees!

Hi Ya! Wonderful to see you today. Thanks for clicking by. Coffee's fresh, virtual treats are right out of the virtual oven and I'm virtually bursting to tell you about the snake in our trees. Yup! This critter is less than an inch around with a skinny, almost flat, head but at least a metre long. And... it's bright green so in a bush or tree, it's hard to spot. Here are some pix and a challenge...find the snake!

Later, it wandered across our driveway to one of our 'Fum -fah' bushes (bougainvilla). Hard to see but it is stretched right across from the lower left to upper right...

Then, I caught it trying to cross back. Look at the thing...head at least a foot off the ground and tail still curled around a branch a metre or more at the other end. Eventually it crossed our tiny lawn, up another tall bush and disappeared into a neighbour's yard.

These snakes are not dangerous but there's similar one with a black tail that is. Our neighbour found one and, being Buddhist, did not kill it. Instead, he plopped it down the drainpipe. So, smartarse me, I told Nong she'd have to be careful sitting on the toidy because the snake might come up our drain and bite her on the butt! She didn't appreciate my humour.

See ya, eh!

Bob

Two Too Fat bad guys!

Well, hi there! How're you faring today, eh? Ticking right along? Good! Keep on ticking. That's my motto! Fill your coffee mug and follow your nose to the tray of virtual goodies while I tell you about two bad guys who have been following their noses too much.

(1) Ohio death-row inmate Ronald Post, 53, asked a federal court in September to cancel his January date with destiny on the grounds that, despite almost 30 years of prison food, he's still too fat to execute. At 480 pounds, "vein access" and other issues would cause his lethal injection to be "torturous." I think that's pure BS. I'm with Larry the Cable Guy on this one..."Get 'er done!"

(2) British murderer-sadist Graham Fisher, 39, is locked up in a high-security hospital in Berkshire, England, but he, too, has been eating well (at about 325 pounds). In August, he was approved for gastric-band surgery paid for by Britain's National Health Service at an estimated cost, including a private room for post-op recuperation, of about $25,000).

If someone can get up to 325 pounds eating prison food, who does their catering, I wonder?  Whatever happened to the old 'bread and water' deal? But, hey, the way Britain's been throwing around their taxpayers' money, what's another 25G?

I think we should put that Arizona Sheriff 'Joe' in charge of prisons worldwide. Everyone'd be in pink and they'd all be living in tents and working for the roads department to bring down the local municipalities' costs. Within about two years, national debts could be wiped out and we'd likely have enough money to build a four-lane bridge across the Pacific!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Compelling Explanation

Well, hi there! You're a sight for sore eyes. I'm delighted you're here and...I can't believe you timed it right again! Coffee's just brewed and Madge has only now brought out a new tray of assorted and ever delicious virtual treats. So go for it! Say... you ever steal a car? No, I am sure you didn't but listen to this...

A 14-year-old boy was hospitalized in critical condition in Churchill, Pa., in August after allegedly swiping a Jeep Grand Cherokee and leading the owner's boyfriend on a brief high-speed chase before rolling the Cherokee over on Interstate 376.

The boy's mother, according to WTAE-TV, blamed the Cherokee's owner: A vehicle with the keys in it, she said, "was an opportunity that, in a 14-year-old's eyes, was ... the perfect moment."

Also, she said, the boyfriend "had no right to chase my son." The boy "could have just (wanted) a joyride down the street. Maybe he (merely) wanted to go farther than he felt like walking."

Uh-huh...and how about teaching your son right from wrong, lady? It doesn't matter that the keys were in the Cherokee. Stealing someone else's property is wrong.  Should I also mention 'against the law'? The kid deserves to spend some time in a very limited space with bars on the windows to think about his experience, wouldn't you say?

And let's put the shoe on the other foot. If that lady was watching someone steal her car, wouldn't she chase down the culprit? I'm dang sure she would!

Have another virtual doughnut and let me know what you think.

See ya, eh!

Bob

Telekinesis - It's the Thought that Counts!

G'day! How's it going, eh? Teleport yourself over to the coffeepot and pour out a dark, refreshing brew. Wait...get a mug first! That's better. Now, see if you can use your mental energy to move one of those fruit-laden muffins onto your plate. Hint...the plate should be lower than the muffin. Hey... I know how interested you are in learning new things, right? Well, I was doing some research on your behalf. It started with a  story about an 84 year old man in China who was able to use energy to move objects. Further research turned up the fact that he was using a trick table. Bummer!

Well here's a related online mega multi-faceted course you may be interested in. It's available from the Biosensory Institute in St. Petersburg, Russia - and although I recently talked at you about the benefits of learning a new language, it is in English.

Half year english internet cource in the field of telekinesis, telephathy, biosensory psychology, psychic practice, parapsychology and healing.

Instructors:
-Vladimir Tonkov – Professor, lead specialist and President of the Institute of Biosensory Psychology
- Group of teachers of the institute of Biosensory Psychology, Professional Medical Assosiation for Folk Medicine, Center of Healing arts and social guiding

The cource will be held 2 times a week and will contain theory and practice. After each session will be a skype discussion with the course. Theory includes the theoretical justification of psycho-bio-energy information interactions, adjustment of contemporary scientific world view in light of existing facts, and new system of views of reality based on contemporary science and facts obtained at our institute.
Practice includes skills in:
- telekinesis
- telephaty
- healing, para-healing and similar issues
- bioenergetical massage
- practical bioenergetics (meridians, channels, energetical centers, lightings, streams etc.
- out of body expirience and traveling
- mysticism and space, extraphysical essence
- transformation of properties of food and water
- the energetic and plastic of movement
- psycho-bio-energy information exchange
- breathing techniques
- different joint gymnastics
- clairvoyance
- energy saturation
- self-restoration
- bio-para-phenomenological approaches
- herbal medicine
- issues of regulation and selfregulation
- dreaming, deep emersions
- energetical and informational cleaning of living space and objects
- drawing,mineral,natural magic
And others similar to written above… (I think you've just about covered everything)

World view portion includes psychological, philosophical and other conversations/discussion with the aim of adapting the human psycho-physiological complex toward a fast change of human status and explosive development of human resource reserves, and others as required or warranted by circumstances, including issues of out-of-body projections, seeing at a distance, search technologies, global informational interaction, etc.(I always love that 'etc.'...it says so much in so little space...)
Cost: single session $20, one month $100
If you join later or miss some parts of the course you can order a recording. The participants of the course will get a certificate after finishing it.


So, hey, in a mere six months, give or take a time zone or two, think of all the new skills you could have, eh! Not to mention the money you'll save by not having to pay for expensive vacations anymore - just teleport wherever you want to go. Have an out of body experience whenever the mood strikes you. Sounds risque, what? Delightfully so...

See ya, eh!

Bob

A Planet Made Of Diamond!

Hi ya! How's it going, eh? Pour yourself a planet-sized mug of coffee and a star-glazed mega muffin! Wow! Listen to this, eh...a planet about 40 light years away and twice the size of Earth is made largely out of diamond, astronomers have said.

The rocky planet, called 55 Cancri e, which is in the constellation of Cancer, is orbiting a sun-like star that is visible with the naked eye.

Discovered by a US-Franco research team, the planet's radius is twice that of Earth's and its mass eight times greater. Temperatures on its surface reach 3,900 degrees Fahrenheit (1,648 Celsius).

The surface of this planet is likely covered in graphite and diamond rather than water and granite. The study, with Olivier Mousis at the Institut de Recherche en Astrophysique et Planetologie in Toulose, France, estimates that at least a third of the planet's mass could be diamond.

Diamond planets have been spotted before but this is the first time one has been seen orbiting a sun-like star and studied in such detail.

"This is our first glimpse of a rocky world with a fundamentally different chemistry from Earth," Dr Madhusudhan said.

He added that the discovery of the carbon-rich planet means distant rocky planets can no longer be assumed to have chemical constituents, interiors, atmospheres, or biologies similar to Earth.

David Spergel, an astronomer at Princeton University, said it was relatively simple to work out the basic structure and history of a star once you know its mass and age.

He said: "Planets are much more complex. This diamond-rich super-Earth is likely just one example of the rich sets of discoveries that await us as we begin to explore planets around nearby stars."

So, like a super-Earth, eh? Well, there is a small matter of it being 1,648 C up there. I don't think we'll be headed there anytime soon, do you. I sure won't...not even with thermal underwear!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Language Learning Makes the Brain Grow

Well,there you are. Thanks for clicking by. As always, it's a treat to see you. Pour yourself a mugga'java and squeeze a deliciously decadent gushy virtual doughnut. So...how many languages can you speak? Let me tell you why I ask...

At the Swedish Armed Forces Interpreter Academy, young recruits learn a new language at a very fast pace. By measuring their brains before and after the language training, a group of researchers has had an almost unique opportunity to observe what happens to the brain when we learn a new language in a short period of time.

At the Swedish Armed Forces Interpreter Academy in the city of Uppsala, young people with a flair for languages go from having no knowledge of a language such as Arabic, Russian or Dari to speaking it fluently in the space of 13 months. From morning to evening, weekdays and weekends, the recruits study at a pace unlike on any other language course.

As a control group, the researchers used medicine and cognitive science students at Umeå University -- students who also study hard, but not languages. Both groups were given MRI scans before and after a three-month period of intensive study. While the brain structure of the control group remained unchanged, specific parts of the brain of the language students grew. The parts that developed in size were the hippocampus, a deep-lying brain structure that is involved in learning new material and spatial navigation, and three areas in the cerebral cortex.

"We were surprised that different parts of the brain developed to different degrees depending on how well the students performed and how much effort they had had to put in to keep up with the course," says Johan Mårtensson, a researcher in psychology at Lund University, Sweden.

Students with greater growth in the hippocampus and areas of the cerebral cortex related to language learning (superior temporal gyrus) had better language skills than the other students. In students who had to put more effort into their learning, greater growth was seen in an area of the motor region of the cerebral cortex (middle frontal gyrus). The areas of the brain in which the changes take place are thus linked to how easy one finds it to learn a language and development varies according to performance.

Previous research from other groups has indicated that Alzheimer's disease has a later onset in bilingual or multilingual groups.

"Even if we cannot compare three months of intensive language study with a lifetime of being bilingual, there is a lot to suggest that learning languages is a good way to keep the brain in shape," says Johan Mårtensson.

So as soon as you finish your coffee, get out there and learn a new language. Your brain will grow, you'll slow down any change of getting Alzheimers and who knows what else. Maybe think about taking a vacation where you can apply your new language skills. Nong and I want to go to Japan and I have been slowly acquiring a Japanese vocabulary.

Kenichi: Konnichi wa. / Hello.
Bob: Konnichi wa. Ogenki desu ka? / Hello. How are you?
Kenichi: Hai, genki desu. Bob-o-san wa? / Yes, I'm fine. And how about you, Bob?
Bob: Genki desu. / I'm fine.

See...your brain is getting bigger already. I can virtually see the difference!


Dewa mata / See ya, eh!
Bob-o / Bob

Want to get lots of hugs?

Hi Ya! Having a great day, I trust? Good to see you whatever you're up to. Help yourself to a refreshingly perky mug of coffee and a virtual muffin, why don't'cha? So my question for you today is, "Would you like to get a lot of hugs?" Let's face it, the world would be a much nicer place if everybody gave each other a hug now and then. Well, I won't hold my breath on that one but how about some social media hugs, eh?

Created by MIT student Melissa Chow, the “like-a-hug” jacket makes virtual experiences a bit more realistic, by inflating and giving you a hug whenever someone likes you on Facebook. Soon, real friends will probably be obsolete. Sorry, I don't think so, unless the jacket can somehow put a face to the hug...and maybe some audio as well. Phase 2 probably, eh?

Having people like you on Facebook is nice, but don’t you wish you could feel the love whenever they hit that “Like” button? Well, thanks to the innovative “like-a-hug” jacket, now you can. Inventor Melissa Chow, from the  Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), says it ”allows us to feel the warmth, encouragement, support, or love that we feel when we receive hugs”. The concept behind this Facebook jacket is fairly simple - air pockets inside the jacket inflate every time your smartphone sends a signal that a new “like”has been received. Better still, you can send hugs back to your friend by simply squeezing the jacket and deflating it.

I need to ponder this one a little. I am sure you and I could come up with some good suggestions. BTW...what does the jacket cost, I wonder? Perhaps we'll reach the point before long where purchase of a smartphone gets you a free jacket. Marketing strategy? Of course and why not. If the price is right, I'm sure it would sell. It certainly would in Japan! If you happen to see a price and where one can acquire said jacket, let me know, okay!

Just had a wild thought.  Not everyone lives in a climate where jackets are needed. How about us folks in the tropics? How about 'huggy underwear' so you can enjoy a little squeeze. Would work for women - not men. But maybe it's not a hug men get. It would be a .... (you tell me!). I can also conjure up images of hug-kinis or at least, I'd like to see them.

See ya, eh!

Bob

Holy Cow! 'Daisy' Makes Hypoallergenic Milk

Hey there! How the heck are you? Wassup? Fill your mug and grab a firm hold of a virtual treat while you're over there by the coffeepot. Say...do you drink much milk? Low fat? Skim? We pretty well always pick up low fat or skim if we can. We don't have allergies or anything. It's just a preference. But some folks are allergic to whey and now scientists in New Zealand seems to have come up with a solution. They have re-engineered the cow!

People who are allergic to whey may be able to drink newly engineered milk without the unpleasant digestive consequences, according to research released today.

A team of New Zealand researchers genetically engineered a cow named Daisy to produce milk free of β-lactoglobulin protein that can cause allergic skin, digestive and respiratory reactions predominantly in infants.

"Since the protein is not produced in human milk, it's not surprising that this protein may be recognized as a foreign protein in infants and cause allergies," said author and scientist at AgResearch in New Zealand Stefan Wagner.

Hey, good stuff!  Believe it or not, someone once asked me if brown cows gave chocolate milk. Now wouldn't that be something, eh? Great new project for you science guys! Then, of course, we'd want to have them eating the leaves of coffee bushes so they could produce coffee-flavoured milk. I think we may be onto something here, you know!
Science is exciting, isn't it?

See ya, eh!

Bob

Graduate Gets Work As A Human Scarecrow

Hi there! Thanks for taking time to click by the blog today! It's always a treat to see you. Fill your mug and take an extra big treat today. We don't want you looking like a scarecrow, do we? Segue! A university graduate has found a job with a difference - he's working as a real scarecrow. Twenty-two-year-old Jamie Fox spends his days sitting, reading and strumming his ukulele.

But he leaps into action when birds begin to circle, scaring them with his bright orange coat, accordion and cow bell. Mr Fox, who studied music and English at Bangor University, is halfway through a fortnight-long stint scaring partridges from a field of oilseed rape near Aylsham, Norfolk. Mr Fox said he enjoys being out in the fresh air and, while some friends are bemused by his new job, others are envious.

He said: "I get to sit and read for a lot of the time, but whenever the partridges appear I have to get up and scare them off. I ring a cowbell and I've even played the accordion, but the ukulele doesn't seem to have any effect on them."

Mr Fox, who lives in Aylsham, earns £250 a week for his efforts policing the 10-acre field for eight hours each day. He is saving for a planned trip to New Zealand next year.

"I don't want to be a scarecrow forever, but it is giving me time to decide what I will do with my future," he said.

Farmer William Youngs employed Mr Fox because conventional birdscarers had not worked. He said: "We have tried bangers to scare them off but the partridges always return. Jamie's doing a good job. You can really see the difference."

If Jamie's cowbell and accordion aren't enough sounds, I'd like to suggest bagpipes. They're enough to scare anybody. Somebody once asked me why it is that whenever you see bagpipers, they're walking. I said, it's no secret...they're trying to get away from the sound! I actually like the skirl of the pipes myself.

"Hey, Bob, I'd really like to buy a set of pipes but they're quite expensive."

"If you can't afford a set of pipes, no problem. Just get hold of a neighbourhood cat, cradle it gently in your arms and them twist its tail. You'll achieve a kitty skirl that sounds very close to the melodic whine of the pipes." Wear a heavy jacket and gloves in case kitty doesn't like having her tail twisted.

See ya, eh!

Bob

PS: Sorry, Doug!

  Yes, we have no horses!

Oh, there you are. I was hoping you'd gallop on by about now. (Doing the Horse Dance - Korean Style seems to be all the rage right now!) It's always good to see you and share a virtual coffee and treat with you... maybe even a horse laugh or two! Say...did you hear that in August, in the US State of Michigan, a government watchdog group learned, in a Freedom of Information Act request, that the Detroit Water and Sewerage Department still to this day retains one job classification for a horseshoer. (The department owns no horses.) 

Over the years, the position has become a patronage slot paying about $57,000 a year in salary and benefits, sometimes requiring the "horseshoer" to do "blacksmith" work such as metal repair. (Because of severe budget cuts, the city employees' union fights to retain every job, no matter its title.) [Michigan Capitol Confidential, 8-20-2012].

You've got to wonder, don't'cha... who fills the position? It sounds like a friend of a local politician, doesn't it? I mean someone's got to do the blacksmithery, eh. It begs the question "How many other 'horseshoer' positions are out there - filled or unfilled?" I wonder about things like that. Another project for my research assistant.

Remember the law that, at last report, was still on the books in at least one US state requiring "...a man with a red flag to walk 10 paces ahead of every horseless carriage"? I wonder if that's still on the books. I haven't seen any 'red flagmen' around lately. Mind you, they'd be a blur on the radar the way traffic moves. Does the union know about this one? They're into saving jobs right? Imagine a union of flagmen equal to the number of vehicles in the USA? That'd be one heck of a union, eh! Might slow the traffic down a little which would not entirely be a bad thing, would it?

See ya, eh! Nong's waving a red flag at me. Maybe she wants to go for a drive!

Bob

Benefits Of Fatty Acids on Arteries and Nerves

Hi ya! Great to see you! Thanks for clicking by. Amazing timing, too, I must say. Madge just refreshed the coffee (every 14 minutes and 39 seconds) and brought out a delightful assortment of virtual doughnuts, muffins and pastries upon which to feast so go to it, eh! Say, most of us know that fish is good for us, right? Fish oil helps all kinds of things.

Fish are generally rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which have shown benefit in many health areas such as helping to prevent mental illness and delaying some of the disabilities associated with aging. Eating tuna, sardines, salmon and other cold water fish appears to protect people against clogged arteries. Omega-3 fatty acids can also lower triglycerides, a type of fat often found in the bloodstream.

A diet rich in fish oils can prevent the accumulation of fat in the aorta, the main artery leaving the heart. The beneficial actions of fish oil that block cholesterol buildup in arteries are even found at high fat intakes.

Now, research from Queen Mary, University of London suggests that omega-3 fatty acids, found in fish oil, have the potential to protect nerves from injury and help them to regenerate. When nerves are damaged because of an accident or injury, patients experience pain, weakness and muscle paralysis which can leave them disabled, and recovery rates are poor.

In the new study, researchers first looked at isolated mouse nerve cells. They simulated the type of damage caused by accident or injury, by either stretching the cells or starving them of oxygen. Both types of damage killed a significant number of nerve cells but enrichment with omega-3 fatty acids in cells gave them significant protection and decreased cell death.

Next the researchers studied the sciatic nerves of mice. They found that a high level of omega-3 fatty acids helped mice to recover from sciatic nerve injury more quickly and more fully, and that their muscles were less likely to waste following nerve damage.

If you're like me with damaged peripheral nerves or you know someone who has that condition, there appears to be a light at the end of the tunnel. We just have to hope it's not a train coming the other way, eh! But many scientists are working on how to get nerves to regenerate so, hey, if anyone in government is reading this, give those guys some more funding. I'll supply the virtual banana cream doughnuts for energy!

See ya, eh!

Bob

'He's been cured.'

Yeehaw! I’m tickled as pink as a Florida suntan that you could find time to amble by my blog today. Fill your mug and look over those scrumptilicious lowfat virtual treats just waiting for your attention. Then sit yourself down here and I’ll tell you the tale of a good ol’boy named Carl Funk.

See this 58 year-old Carl Funk, was in the Broward County, Fla., courtroom of judge John Hurley . He was proclaiming that he was innocent of the seven-year-old charges of trespassing and being in possession of an open-alcoholic-container. He pleaded to the judge that, besides, he is now wheelchair-bound in pathetic medical condition and should be allowed to go home.

The judge was skeptical, but finally, according to a South Florida Sun-Sentinel report, he offered to fine Funk only $50 on the charges, and Funk agreed to plead guilty.

"Good luck, Funk," said Judge Hurley.

At that point, Funk rose from his wheelchair and quickly walked away. "Raising both hands, Judge Hurley declared, 'He's been cured.'"

Praise the Lord and pass the doughnuts! And who’s the chief doughnut in this case, your honor (without the ‘u’)? You’ve just been Funked!

See ya, eh!

Bob

Thailand Launches World’s Largest Educational Tablet Distribution

Wouldn't you know it, eh! Just as I'm about to bow out of the education system in Thailand and head back to Canada, the country is ushering in a whole new era of education by equipping all of its Grade 1 students with iPad clones.  Anyway...nice to see you. I'm glad you found a few minutes to click by the blog today. Help yourself to some freshly roasted and brewed Arabica bean juice and a banana muffin. Thailand has at least 57 different kinds of bananas... and let me tell you, they've just paid a whole bunch of bananas to buy all these Chinese Scopads.

Tablets have come to play a very significant role in a number of fields. Specifically, in the educational sector, it is viewed as somewhat of a revolutionary product that can help students immensely with their education. And that is precisely why a number of projects have been launched to equip younger students with tablets. Thailand seems to have overtaken all these projects.

The government in Thailand has now inked a whopping deal worth $32.8 million which aims to furnish one million tablets to equip the students around the country. This is, by far, the largest distribution of tablets that is going to happen anywhere in the world.

The deal has been expected for quite some time since the present regime in Thailand had promised such a venture last year during the elections. Though it took them quite some time to finalize the deal, it is happening now. The lucky vendor who has been chosen by the government to provide the huge amount of tablets happens to be Shenzhen Scope. The company will initially bring out 2,000 test units after which it will be providing another 400,000 devices within the next 90 days.

The government has further plans of getting another 530,000 tablets from Shenzhen Scope, a deal which has to be finalized yet. If this part of the deal is also eventually sealed, this will catapult the overall budget of the venture to a massive $75.7 million.

The primary objective of the government in Thailand, through this project, is to equip every first grade student across Thailand with a personal tablet. If all goes well with the distribution of these tablets, this can indeed trigger an educational revolution in the country.

The tablet which will be distributed as a result of the deal is Scopad SP0712. While it is not one of the well-known ones at the international arena, it still comes with fairly impressive specifications, at least for first-graders. For instance, the tablet tools Android ICS on a 7-inch touchscreen and 1GB of RAM together with 8GB of storage and the feature of GPS.

Now, I think this is a fantastic idea...if the government has thought it through. I remember a number of years ago when computers were becoming in vogue and the then Thai government decided it was going to put 'computers in every school in Thailand'. Admirable, huh...except that over 200 of those schools didn't even have electricity - let alone anyone who knew the remotest thing about computers - like turning them on and what to do next. This current program smacks more of keeping election promises than a well-thoughtout plan.

To me, it will help language teachers, for instance, if it has pronunciation software loaded in the scopads. Ideally, loading all the school textbooks would save students having to carry a bagful of books back and forth to school. (I suspect though, since this will be grade 1 students, the book bags will still be carried only now they'll be full of electronic toys, comic books and food!). Meanwhile, school book publishers such as Oxford University Press, Cambridge, McGraw-Hill, etc. should be scrambling to bring out online editions of their school texts.

Our school will be participating in the program from May of next year. Too bad I won't be here to see it but I suspect it will take some time to iron out the flaws in the system. I also hope the school has the foresight to ensure that teachers are given a tablet as well so they can be communicating on the same platform as their students.

For my money, it is a step in the right direction for education in Thailand. The kids here are already very computer savvy and well into technology.

See ya, eh!

Bob

Education can get you into trouble!

An awfully pleasant day to you. You are just in time for a spot of Typhoo Tea and a bit of crumpet...I mean a virtual English muffin! I'm afraid I must relate to you today how education can indeed be your downfall.

Because the words were not those ordinarily used by vandals keying a car's paint, Newcastle, England police looked immediately to a better-educated vandal.

They arrested University of Newcastle professor Stephen Graham, who had been a prominent critic of neighborhood parking rules that allowed outsiders to use the few spaces on his street. Scratched into several outsiders' luxury cars' exteriors were words such as "arbitrary" and "really wrong" and "very silly" (as opposed to the usual crude vandal references to anatomy and maternal promiscuity).

Graham was arrested over the late-night wrecking spree that caused £20,000 damage by scrawling words onto 24 cars in a street near his house in the affluent suburb of Jesmond, Newcastle.

Among the cars damaged were a Mercedes SLK, BMW 520, a BMW X5 and a Land Rover.
A resident rang police in the early hours of Bank Holiday Monday, when he spotted a man in black shorts and a black jacket crouching down next to a car.

"I say, ol' chappie. Would you mind not arbitrarily parking your merc in front of my residence. I think it is really wrong of you to do so as it deprives me of the privilege of using said spot to park my own vehicle. Not only is it very silly of you to park here but it shows a complete disregard for decency and a definite display of lack of proper breeding. Thanks awfully.  Now piss off and bloody well park somewhere else and I do hope that upon arrival at your own flat, your mother comes out from under your front porch and bites you, you misbegotten prodigy of a syphilitic wanker !"

See ya, eh!

Bob

Tooting One's Own Horn!

G'Day, eh! How're you this fine day? You're looking well. Sidle over to the coffeepot and fill your mug. Then, multitask your way to the tray of virtual treats and wrestle one of those mega muffins onto your plate. Now...bring it all over here and sit yourself down as I tell you about a little spare time project of mine...writing for publication by Smashwords.

What the heck is Smashwords? I'm glad you asked!

If you are an aspiring writer, Smashwords is a non-traditional way to get your book published as an e-book for all the world to read. They will publish your work for free. Of course, they take a cut on any sale but then so would any other distributor, eh. They have a Standard Catalogue and a Premium Catalogue. Once your book is accepted into their Premium Catalogue, Smashwords automatically distributes it to major online retailers such as Apple (distribution to iBookstores in 32 countries), Barnes & Noble, Sony, Kobo, WH Smith in the UK and FNAC (both powered by Kobo), the Diesel eBook Store,  eBooks Eros (operated by Diesel), Baker & Taylor (Blio and the Axis360 library service), Page Foundry (operates retail sites Inktera.com and Versent.com; operates Android ebook store apps for Cricket Wireless and Asus), and other distribution outlets coming soon. I just got the good news yesterday that two of my books have been accepted into the Premium Catalogue at Smashwords.

When I was in Toronto this year and the one before and riding the subway, I saw how many people have taken to using mobile e-readers. Then, a couple months ago, I came across Smashwords and have spent the past month or so formatting and reformatting  and re-reformatting my two books to Smashword's requirements.  Yesterday, I checked my dashboard, as I do everyday, expecting yet another request for re-re-reformatting but lo and behold, instead, both books have been accepted into their premium catalogue! So..Toot! Toot! Toot, eh!

 Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages    by Robert Taylor
Price: $5.99 USD. 46840 words. Published on September 15, 2012. Nonfiction.
Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages is a guide to learning more than 24 ESL Methodologies and Teaching Techniques. It is ideal for new or aspiring teachers of English as a Second Language – particularly for those who want to teach overseas where there is a huge need for English teachers with TESOL training. 

Teaching English to Young Learners    by Robert Taylor
Price: $5.99 USD. 55380 words. Published on September 23, 2012. Nonfiction.
In this book, you will learn a wide variety of techniques and strategies for teaching children from ages 4-11. It includes lesson plans, games and activities for teaching English to children whose first language is other than English - at kindergarten and early primary grade levels. It combines elements of Early Childhood Education (ECE) and teaching children a second language.

Look for them where you buy your favourite e-books!

Who designed your totally excellent covers, eh, Bob? Blush...why, I did. Toot! Toot!

The next book I'll be publishing on Smashwords is a 24-chapter story for teachers to encourage their second-language learners to read in class. Chapters are short - intended to be read aloud or silently in class in about 15-20 minutes followed by a discussion and exercises. There will be a package of vocabulary, exercises and activities teachers can download. I actually wrote this for a class a number of years ago. Now that I have been through the formatting process at Smashwords a couple times, rewriting it to their specifications should be a piece of cake...or a humongous muffin even! Watch for 'Urfus to the Rescue!' coming soon to an e-reader near you! Toot! Toot!

See ya, eh!

Bob