These Fish Are So Delicious You’ll Soil Yourself, Literally

Hey there! Glad you could make it today. How are you doing? I see you've got your mug there ready for a freshly perked jolt of Arabica juice so go ahead and fill 'er up. Add a virtual treat or two while you're about it. Say...do you like fish. Well, here's one to try...but bee careful, eh!

Buttery and succulent, the related oil fish (Ruvettus pretiosus)  and escolar (Lepidocybium flavobrunneum)) are considered to be two of the most palatable fish in the world. But before you run out to your local fish market in search of these delicacies, you’d better stock up on toilet paper because you’re going to spend a lot of time in the restroom after your scrumptious meal.
With such a large number of species in danger of  being over-fished and others posing health risks due to their high mercury content, the seafood industry needs alternatives that taste great, are cheap, sustainable and healthy to consume. 

The oilfish and escolar seem perfect choices, and although they’ve been popping up in restaurants and fish markets around the world, there is one dirty little secret that those who sell them sometimes forget to reveal – they cause explosive, oily, orange diarrhea. I know it sounds bad, but there is a way to avoid this embarrassing and highly uncomfortable side effect. 

The fish are safe to eat if they are consumed in portions smaller than six ounces, but most people are either unaware of the consequences or they just can’t help themselves because they are so damn delicious, so they go for full servings. People who actually went through this kind of ordeal have reported the oily discharges are almost impossible to control and often lead to embarrassing accidents.

"Waiter, I'll try a portion of oilfish. Better let me have a couple rolls of toidy paper and clear a path to the toilet!"

See ya, eh!

Bob