Heart Attack Special!

Hey there! Great to see you…even if it is only virtually. Sit it down and let's gab a little! The other day, I showed you some fancy doughnuts from VooDoo Doughnuts in Oregon . Well, not to be outdone…here is almost the world's unhealthiest meal… Are you ready for this?

It's a Doughnut Burger... okay, Donut if you're in the US of A, eh! I kid you not! What started as a publicity gimmick from a below Junior A ball team in St. Louis , Missouri quickly caught on. A beef patty sandwiched between, what else, a sliced open doughnut. Well, why the heck not, I ask? Had to happen! Add cheese, bacon, all the trimmings and you're talking 1000 + calories. Saves having to eat the rest of the day, huh? Want the franchise in your neighbourhood?

A restaurant in L. A. has come up with a brunch called a Lady Burger. It's the same as a doughnut burger but with a fried egg added. Sure, eh, pile on the calories and cholesterol! Diet Coke with that?

Now, Bob, I have a question for you. Like…how come you said ‘almost' the world's unhealthiest meal?

Ah ha! Caught that, did you. Good! Well, my friend, you'll have to wait till tomorrow to find out if anything can top the doughnut burger…

Bob

Tetraphobia… Fear of the Number Four

Tetraphobia… Fear of the Number Four

Hey now, I hope you didn't walk under any ladders, let a black cat cross your path or step on a crack – break your mother's back on your way here today.

See that pile of 13 kinds of doughnuts over there? And the 13 kinds of coffee on the other side? Help yourself. Folks are really superstitious, don't you think?

Here in Asia, if anything, superstitions run at a much higher level than anywhere else – except maybe Africa and the West Indies . Ghosts abound as well…

Tetraphobia is the fear of the number four. Why? Because phonetically it sounds like the word for "death" in Korean, Chinese and Japanese, as well as in many other East Asian and some Southeast Asian languages. It is not uncommon for buildings (including offices, apartments, hotels) to lack floors with the number 4. Finnish mobile phone manufacturer Nokia's 1xxx-9xxx series of mobile phones does not include any model numbers beginning with a 4. In Japan , this is for the same reason - the sound of the number ( ? , shi) has the same sound as the Japanese word for "death" ( ? , shi).

Even when I was selling real estate in Toronto , I could never show houses with the number 4 in the address to Chinese clients. They wouldn't even go in. You won't see many Chinese licence plates with 4 in them either. 8 is the lucky number in China and Hong Kong . In fact, the licence place 8888 reportedly sold for 1 million HK dollars. I believe it. In Thailand , 9 is the fortuitous number because the current king is the 9 th in his line to hold the throne.

The picture above shows the elevator buttons in a Shanghai Apartment building. Notice there are no # 4, 13 th or 14 th floors. There is however a -1 floor which might be the basement, d'you think?

See ya! Be careful crossing the street, eh!

Bob

Paul from Toyko comments:

In Japan , the number 4 is sometimes considered bad luck because one pronunciation of the word sounds like the Japanese word for "death."

We do have 4th floors in buildings, but the superstition does manifest itself in one meaningful way. When invited to a Japanese wedding, it is customary to give the new couple an envelope with 2 crisp ¥10,000 notes in it. This is to help offset the cost of the usually very expensive wedding party. (I should mention that husbands and wives are not always invited as many of the guests are business colleagues or the like. Or teachers from the past, and that is where this has affected me.)

In the case where a husband and a wife are invited together, as often happened to me, that would mean 4 ¥10,000 notes, but 4 is an unlucky number so four of them is a no-no. That forces the choice of giving three of them, and looking like a cheapskate, or giving five which is what most couples do. So, at todays's current exchange rates, that would be about US$615 or Thai Baht 18,000.

I kid you not. Talk about bad luck. That is what a wedding invitation can be in this country.

Bob's reply:

Yikes! Elope kids…and good luck to ya!

Secret Triskaidekaphilia

A splendiferous day to you! Join me for a mug and a virtual treat. Better grab a couple. Got a long one for you today. You only gain virtual calories anyway but you can get rid of them by doing some virtual exercises… such as walking up 13 imaginary flights of stairs. I got a note the other day from my friend Paul in Tokyo . The elevator in his building went off and he and his good lady, Neng, had to walk up real stairs to his apartment on the 13 th floor. Ugh! That got me to thinking…always dangerous, eh!

Many buildings don't have a 13 th floor. They are as rare as hens' teeth. Unsuperstitious developers who build high rises with a 13 th floor often find themselves with many offices or apartments vacant on that floor. People are fearful of anything to do with that number.

Triskaidekaphobia is from the Greek tris meaning "3," kai meaning "and," and deka meaning "10". Together it is fear of the number 13. But why are so many people afraid of it?

Superstition around thirteen has been variously associated to Norse mythology, the Last Supper, the Knights Templar and the fall of Constantinople .

Ancient Persians believed the twelve constellations in the Zodiac controlled the months of the year, and each ruled the earth for a thousand years at the end of which the sky and earth collapsed in chaos. Therefore, the thirteenth is identified with chaos and the reason Persians leave their houses to avoid bad luck on the thirteenth day of the Persian Calendar, a tradition called Sizdah Bedar.

The Vikings believed that Loki in the Norse pantheon was the 13th god. More specifically, Loki was believed to have engineered the murder of Balder, and was the 13th guest to arrive at the funeral. This is perhaps related to the superstition that if thirteen people gather, one of them will die in the following year.

Some Christian traditions have it that at the Last Supper, Judas, the disciple who betrayed Jesus, was the 13th to sit at the table.

On Friday 13 October 1307, the Knights Templar were arrested by Philip IV of France .

Tall buildings around the world traditionally skip thirteen in their floor count.

Anyone dedicated to trivia will note that the code name for Microsoft Exchange Server 2007 was Exchange 12, but the next major release of its mail server was code named Exchange 14. Microsoft skipped 13 for the same reason that many hotels don't have a thirteenth floor—superstition!

On the other hand, one man's fear is another's favour. Contrarians such as NBA player Wilt Chamberlain and NFL quarterback Dan Marino, both wore thirteen on their jerseys. They might enjoy a stay at Fairmont Hotels & Resorts which can provide accommodations on that rarest of all spaces… the infamous thirteenth floor! The Plaza , a Fairmont Hotel in New York, Fairmont The Queen Elizabeth in Montreal, The Fairmont Hotel Vancouver , Fairmont Vancouver Airport , and Fairmont Dubai , all of which embrace their inner thirteenth floors.

Now personally, I like the number 13. If you were a regular and cheerful customer in a bakery and usually ordered a dozen of something… let's say doughnuts for the sake of argument, okay? Well, every once in a while, the baker would toss in a free doughnut…the 13 th one which became known as a Baker's Dozen . Want one?

To be continued…

Bob

VooDoo Donuts – A little chocolate black magic!

VooDoo Donuts – A little chocolate black magic!

  

Hey – as soon as I saw these, I thought about you and just knew I had to share them with you! Wouldn’t one of two of these go just dandy with your coffee today? Trouble is, I haven’t made them yet, see. But, hey, listen… feel free to beat me to the punch – or mixing bowl even.  They do look tempting don’t they?

Voodoo Doughnuts is a tradition in Portland, Oregon. Pictured here are some of their specialties: a Portland Crème Long John with chocolate coating and two ‘voodoo’ eyes, a bacon maple doughnut and a Captain-My Captain doughnut with Captain Crunch cereal.  The Portland Crème has been named as Portland’s official doughnut. Hey, Tim Hortons…why don’t you get Stephen what’s his name in Ottawa to declare the Fruit Explosion as Canada’s official doughnut. No, this is not a reference to the ever-expanding gay community…just a really good doughnut!

I’m not sure these voodoo treats fit in the low fat category but if you make them after three o’clock, there are no calories. Break them in half before you eat them to let any remaining calories escape! Bet you didn’t know you could do that, did you? Leastwise that’s what someone told me, I seem to recall. Couldn’t swear by it but take a long walk after eating one and it’ll set you right. No, I’m not telling you to “take a hike” though it’s probably good for your heart. Maybe I’ll join you.  Here’s the Portland Creme voodoo how to …

1/2 c. shortening

1 c. evaporated milk

1/2 tsp. lemon flavoring

2 eggs, beaten

2 tsp. salt

2 c. flour

1 pkt (tsp) yeast

- Dissolve yeast in 1/2 c. warm water (110-115 degrees)
- Add 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg and yeast mixture to first mixture.
- Add more flour just to be able to knead dough.
- Knead on pastry cloth about 5 minutes.
- Let rest for 10 minutes.
- Roll out 1/4" thick and cut into strips 1 by 6.
- Cover with clean cloth and let rise 1 hour.
- Deep fry at 375 degrees until light brown on both sides (slip raised side into fat first.
- This gives flat side a chance to raise as they cook.)
- Drain on paper towel and frost with the following:
- Boil 1/4 cup butter, 1/2 cup brown sugar, 2 tablespoons cream or evaporated milk, about 3 minutes.
- Add flavoring and just enough confectioners' sugar to make a spreading consistency.

Got your walking shoes on? Ready to go? Don’t worry… I’ll catch up to you… just have to check on something first… I’ll be right along… don’t get too far ahead of me now…

Bob

PS: Happy Birthday to my brother Terry who’s about 5 years younger than I am so let’s see now…if I was 39, he’d be…!

It's déjà vu all over again…

It seems to me I've seen you before… oh yeah, you were here yesterday, weren't you. Well, in that case, it's déjà vu all over again. Nice to see you, as always. Ramble on over here with that cup of coffee you're holding. Grab us a couple treats off the tray and plunk your keester down. You want the cream one or the chocolate one?

Deja vu is a French phrase meaning 'already seen,' referring to the distinct, puzzling, and mysterious feeling of having experienced a specific set of circumstances before. You might walk into a building in a foreign country you've never visited, for example, and sense that the setting is eerily and intimately familiar. Apparently there are a couple of common ‘flu-fighting' drugs around that, when taken together, increase the incidence of ‘déjà vu'.

If, like me, you believe we've been here before, then a lot can be explained by reincarnation. See, here in Thailand , most folks are Buddhists (my dyslexic digits wanted to spell that Bubbahists but that'd more like folks around Texas or Tennessee , wouldn't it?). Anyway, Buddhists believe we all have many lives. That being the case, it is just possible that we do receive the occasional fleeting glimpse from a past life or two. What do you think? Ever experienced déjà vu? Only when the bills come in at the end of the month, eh!

Been there… done that… and got the t-shirt! Déjà vu again tomorrow?

Bob

D'you know that reincarnation was actually part of early Christianity until the wife of Emperor Justinian decided she didn't like it so that became the end of it. Guess we know who the boss was in that family, eh! I think it was Justinian but could have been Constantine . Correct me if I have erred…

Comment from Doug in Bangkok:

Hi Bob,

Never seen as chip buttie done with a burger bun! They're usually on white bread cut in the traditional door step manner. However with the wide acceptance of everything American in the UK another proud tradition has probably bitten the dust. Cheers.

Bob's Reply:

Thought I saw Daisy's husband, what's ‘is name, with one on that Mrs. Bucket show but that's TV and I'm probably mistaken anyway. I bow to local knowledge.

What came before the beginning?

Boy, that sandwich was good yesterday, wasn’t it? Do you think Panzarotto qualifies as a sandwich? I suppose it does. We’re open minded, right? So what are you up to today? Heavy day coming up or same old same old? Fill your cup and let’s jaw a while.

As is my wont, I was watching Heads Up and the fellow was saying, “Now, you see, Bob, the universe seems to be expanding.” “So how do they know that?” I asked my TV. “Well, seems as though when we look at the position of everything it’s farther away than it all was the last time we looked up. By considering that situation in reverse and assuming that because things are farther away now, it logically means they were closer together before.” Duh! Even I figured that one out, eh!

That’s where they get the idea that a long time ago, things were really close together. And before that? Before that they were all crammed together and before that came a big bang that started it all. Really? So what was here before the universe? Nothing? No space? No nothing? Maybe what they think was a big bang really came out of a black hole…which I hear is what a star like our sun becomes when after a kazillion years it ups and dies.

So what’s inside a black hole? No one knows and they really don’t want to get close enough to find out. Maybe it’s another universe. And anyway, how could there be a black hole if there was nothing in the first place? Hand me another virtual doughnut, would you. The brain’s gone to Bavarian cream just thinking about it.

See ya!

Bob

Paul from Toyko comments:

My favorite sandwich?  Now, that stumps me as there are so many possibilites.  How about a nice Chicago-style hot dog with chili and cheese?  Or with sauerkraut?  An Italian beef sandwich on a hard roll or Italian bread?  Would a bagel and lox qualify as a sandwich?  Of course, during my impecunious college years, I survived on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and I guess that almost ties in with one of your recent posts.

Of course, hamburgers cooked outside on a charcoal grill and eaten with friends are the best.  (Did that hint come through clearly enough?)

I won't start with sandwiches here in Japan.  Now, what would be the correct culinary term for them?  Oh, yes, they suck!  How about fruit salad and whipped cream on white bread?  Or a fried yaki soba (fried noodles) sandwich? I kid you not.  

OK, one more.  I do like a good croque monsieur or a croque auvergnat but only if I am in the right country for them.  BTW, it is possible to get a Croque McDo in Paris but that one is to be avoided, I should think.

Cheers.

Bob’s retort:

Toronto’s got these sausage vendors all over downtown. You can get a foot long dog or Italian or German sausage with kraut, onions, dill pickles, et al. Or how about a Sloppy Joe. It’s the kind of sandwich you and your shirt can enjoy!  Almost forgot that one. Yeah, a Yakisoba noodle sandwich works. Lots of hot sauce though. Hold the fruit salad. A Croque Monsieur would be similar to a Roast Beef au jus, n’et-ce pas? Oh, and in Britain, a Chip Buttie is a biggie…fries in a hamburger bun.

Another comment from Paul:

I guess I am being verbose on the subject of sandwiches but i thought of one more point.  My favorite place to get a sandwich is a New York deli.  I am sure you have been to one yourself.  They have counters that run almost the length of the store full of meats and cheeses, about 15 choices of rolls or bread, and while a little expensive, they do not skimp when making a sandwich.

I used to take students on study tours to the States and I always took them to a deli when we passed through New York.  We gave each girl $10 and let them choose what they wanted to eat.  I always left the deli empty-handed because I knew that the average Japanese girl could only eat half of one of those sandwiches.  Good times were had by all.

Another response from Bob:

Stage Deli in the theatre district is a perennial favourite. I like the Star Deli on Lexington. I agree – the counter runs forever with bowls of kosher dills all along. Can’t go wrong!

Thank you, John Montagu!

Hey, how are you today? Did you know it’s John Montagu’s Birthday? No need to sing! This John Montagu (not the Irish poet of the same name but with an ‘e’ on the end of it) lived in the 1700’s and was the Fourth Earl of Sandwich…that standard fare for which he became known. It is said that he ordered his valet to bring him meat tucked between two pieces of bread. He apparently liked a game of cards and this was when he consumed these new adventures in food.  Because Montagu also happened to be the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, others began to order "the same as Sandwich!" You can see how the shortened version would have progressed from there. Anyway, Happy Birthday, John!  

I love a good sandwich, don’t you? If you ask me what my favourite is, it would be a toss up. My seasonal choice would be cold turkey. Of course another favourite is – meatloaf! Little ketchup is all you need but a pickle never hurts.

What about a Montreal smoked meat on rye? Make mine a double possible! (Double the meat and as lean as possible!) Schwartz’s Deli on St. Lawrence…hard to beat. Kosher dill or two on the side.

Another Quebec favourite …the hot chicken sandwich. Yum! Slice of bread topped with slices of chicken, add another slice of bread on top and smother it with gravy! Fries and peas on the side. Voila!

How about Roast Beef au jus? Slices of medium beef on a baguette dipped in a cup of Bovril (beef flavoured juice).

Look what you’ve gone and done now! Gotten me ravenous! Finish your doughnut and let’s go get a sandwich! What’s your favourite? Let me try a bite…

Bob

Wait…I just remembered Big Luke! There was a submarine chain in Montreal called Mike’s – the only sub chain at the time that made ‘hot’ subs. It’s coming back to me now…  This is going back 30 years at least so I have to wipe the cobwebs off the ol’ brain, you know. Big Luke was a 14” long hot steak and pepperoni sub. A meal unto itself. I can still smell it and taste it! It was that good. Then I got moved 2000 miles west to Calgary. When relatives came to visit, they were under orders – bring a couple Big Luke’s with you…and they did! 

Sharon? Debbie? Is Mike’s still going?

Why Grandmother…What big feet you have!

 

Hello! You’ve got that “I know something you don’t’ look on your face. What’ve you been up to, huh?  Sit down, pour yourself a steaming mug of coffee, sample a doughnut or a dough-no-nut and talk to me…  Did you see where Microsoft is using Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and the Yeti to promote their Internet Explorer? Privacy is their theme and of course these creatures like theirs, to be sure. To me, these creatures, real or imagined, have always been an interesting topic.

For decades, large, hairy, manlike beasts called Bigfoot or Sasquatch have been reported by eyewitnesses across America. But there’s never been conclusive proof of their existence. Not one has been killed by a hunter, struck dead by a speeding car, or even died of natural causes far as we know. In the absence of hard evidence like teeth or bones, support comes down to eyewitness sightings and ambiguous photos and films. Since it is logically impossible to prove a universal negative, science will never be able to prove that creatures like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster do not exist, and it is possible that these mysterious beasts lurk far from prying eyes.
Having flown over the Rockies many times, I can tell you that there are inaccessible valleys where I am sure no human has ever been… so in my books anything goes. In remote locations such as these, who knows what lives there?

In the South Pacific, the island of Papua-New Guinea is similarly mountainous. Tribes live their whole lives in one of thousands of valleys and it is thought that many there are tribes that have yet to come into contact with the outside world. An estimate is that there are 750 different languages spoken on the island.
Mind you, if you looked at how many languages are spoken in, say, Toronto or New York, there’d probably be more than a hundred, eh? I recall the Toronto Tax bill being printed in I don’t know how many languages, including Thai!

Anyway…gotta get back to baking that first million…

Catch ya tomorra!

Bob