G’day to you. Glad you could make it! Will that be coffee, tea or some extra waiting time for your flight today? Got this yesterday in the mail and thought I’d share it. Being as how we’re all flyers to some degree, you’ll appreciate a few of these, I’m sure. That lad Murphy does get around and I tend to agree with his many of his philosophical rantings.
Take these for example:
No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.
If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate in the terminal.
If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.
Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence just as soon as you touch pen to paper.
If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.
Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the washroom.
The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
The best-looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.
If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate in the terminal.
If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.
Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence just as soon as you touch pen to paper.
If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.
Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the washroom.
The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
The best-looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.
See ya!
Bob
Comment from Wayne in Valleyfield, Quebec:
This might work in the USA, the credit card capitol of the world but I not so sure about the UK and Canada. Here in Canada we are a little more conservative using the credit card. Our savings habits and sane banking practices is what got us through the USA's ( republicans ) recent financial mess. I know I won't use my credit card to buy food, groceries etc. If a person cannot have enough cash on his person to purchase a burger & fries and a meal, he shouldn't be eating there. and to mention the argument that people carry credit cards rather than cash for safety purposes. I am willing to bet there is a lot more stolen identity/credit card money than there is cash stolen in street muggings).
I can see one slight benefit of this touchscreen /credit card slot system, by keeping people like myself away. It will be good for my health.
Bones from Québec
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